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dysphxtric · 3 years ago

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Mental Illness - My Mental Health Story

TW: Depression, Anxiety, Self harm, Suicide, Sexual Harassment

“You should smile more.”

“It could be worse.”

“Just don’t think about it.”

These were the phrases I heard throughout all of my elementary and high school years. There was never a time when my peers and teachers, would not mention some bizarre, ignorant statement revolving around mental health. Not to mention, my family also contributed heavily to the stigmatization of mental health issues. Essentially, my family approached the subject of mental health with extreme hesitation, they refused to talk about how it affects people of all age, gender, ethical background (etc.) Every time I would say “I’m feeling lost” my family would automatically dismiss my frantic worries and it was not any different when I went to school. My peers would continuously remind me that my pain was not valid and that I need to stop being so sensitive. My primary parental figures, my mother and brother did not have the adequate knowledge or tools to be able to hold space for me. I would frequently hear my mom say, “I could understand someone suffering from PTSD feeling upset or sad but you’re so young and healthy honey, you have nothing to worry about” or the old classic “Someone else has it worse than you”. Whether I was at home or at school, I heard the same ignorant statements spewing out from what felt like everyone. And I could never comprehend what was the point of these falsely “encouraging” statements and why profusely use them? These kinds of statements do not uplift, nor do they empower those struggling with mental health issues, if anything it makes it extremely debilitating when your emotions are not acknowledged nor validated. One cannot expect to simply brush away another person’s emotion, thought or feeling as though it means nothing.

With that being said, growing up, I lived in a dysfunctional household alongside my mother, my older brother, and my grandmother. My mother would always be juggling work, schooling, and her dating life. My brother was very reluctant about staying home so he would always vanish after school, hang out with friends, party hard and engage with various street substances. Now my grandmother? It was not long after she immigrated that she began to immerse herself within the Jehovah’s Witnesses ideology and “religiously” strayed away from us as my mother likes to say. My mother was never fond of religious practices that were not “orthodox”. My grandmother wanted to indoctrinate my mom, brother, and I into joining her religious little club but failed which resulted in countless fights, yelling matches, and multiple dents left in our walls. The back and forth with the yelling was what scared me most in my childhood even if it was over something as small as not closing the cabinet door. I think it was around this time period I experienced violence/ trauma at home and truth be told I was extremely stressed and anxious all the time as a kid. My mother would cover the punched indents by taking magazines and sticking pages onto the indent. Often times my stomach would turn as I looked at the pages covering the area where my brother punched the wall with brutal force. Moreover, I felt impending sadness because all I ever wanted was for everyone in my family to be able coexist and not argue. I was trying to keep the peace between everyone, yet I was always the one that got caught in the middle of everything whether I liked it or not. I would get blamed a lot for trying to mend things for everyone. Even though all I wanted was the best for all my family members.

Fast forward to my pre-teen/ teenage years. By this point, my brother and grandmother were no longer living under the same roof as my mother and I. My brother was living with his ex-girlfriend while working as a security guard meanwhile my grandmother was living in her own little subsidized apartment preaching the word of Jehovah. At that particular time, my mother and I lived in a marvellous urban semi-detached house in a peaceful neighbourhood. My mother’s boyfriend had moved in with us and for the most part I was really happy because at least it was not just me and her.

My mother’s boyfriend lived with us while I was going to school. He was a really nice, caring and warm-hearted individual although I could never understand why my mother argued with him so much. I once told him “You should propose to her, I can see you two together forever” to which he replied with a welcoming smile.

But eventually just like with all good things, there comes an end. The inevitable breakup my mom went through was very bitter and I had to be there for her. Afterall, I was technically the only child that was around to emotionally comfort her. Ironically, the breakup occurred during the time I was being bullied in school. And it was difficult to be fully present for my mother while dealing with a lot of negativity at school. I had been experiencing cyber bullying on MSN by a bunch of peers calling me “weird”, “ugly” and “different”. To make matters worse, the group of kids that bullied me online ended up following me everywhere I went for recess which posed as a big obstacle for my well being. I had to eat inside the portables when teachers weren’t around or inside the girl’s bathroom stall just to avoid being teased. I never felt like I had a safe space to myself where I could be vulnerable and open up. Not to mention, it was a difficult time and there was practically no one I could confide in. I didn’t have a social circle of supportive friends, after all I was an antisocial person. Fear washed over me as I worried about disclosing my unpleasant experience to my mother because she was already dealing with so much, the heartbreak, the bills, work problems (etc.), it was then and there that I decided to lie instead of telling the truth. Ultimately, lying became my cooping mechanism to deal with the ongoing pain.

I kept up the lying for a long time in order to make it seem like everything was okay. I lied to everyone from family members to school peers to the teaching staff to principals to counselors.

For the longest time, lying sheltered me from all sorts of unnecessary questions. No one could really tell whether I was truthful or disloyal because I was able to make it sound believable. When I was a teenager, I continued to go down the same destructive path by being dishonest with myself and others. Many times, the thought of suicide crossed my mind and when I started to think about it and plan/coordinate the intricate details it did not hit me that something was very wrong, and I needed urgent help. A big part of the problem was that I was so used to downplaying my pain, given my family circumstance and stigmatization I experienced growing up with. There is no denying that I would engage in negative self talk convincing myself that I deserved the pain and suffering for not being likeable enough or for not being smart enough.

Sometimes I think that is the thing… people do not understand that I lied because that was what I was required to do in order to survive my childhood. I, myself do not tolerate lying and I think it is a form of betrayal and if I were to be completely honest, I would have NEVER lied to my mom had it been safe for me to express myself authentically in my household.

I did not live in a household where it was safe to speak my mind freely and disagree with my mother. Disagreeing was always the last thing I wanted to do, disagreeing meant I got the belt, my devices would get confiscated or that I was going to get grounded. They say, “Honesty is the best policy” and I do not disagree however, it is not as black and white as one may think. In my situation, lying was not only an adaptive coping mechanism but it became a survival mechanism to keep me safe from harm/threat.

I did not have very much individuality growing up. I felt as though having an opinion of my own was bad. In order to perpetuate this fixated mindset that I had, my mother constantly deemed certain attributed behaviours or thoughts as “good” or “bad”. So, say you were upset about a recent breakup with your partner, my mother would scoff and say, “You know life isn’t just about love right?” and play it like it means nothing to the person affected by the situation.

The first time I ever felt depressed was when I was 13. At that age I did not understand why I was feeling what I was feeling. All I knew was that there was something wrong with me. It did not help when I was being picked on by my classmates telling me “Go die”, “You belong in a ditch ugly bitch.”

The moment when things started getting out of hand was when I was first started my Art and Family Studies class in the same semester. In both classes I was placed into groups amongst other students. In Family Studies I had to be in a collaborative group that would divide responsibilities and tasks accordingly. When it came to cooking, my group consisted of four snobby, rich yet immature peers who were unwilling to help and contribute in any shape or form, I had to become the bigger person and sure enough I took all the responsibilities on myself. Though, it was not a smart move. But I was super shy and felt anxious to do anything different least to say speak up and advocate for myself, so I did what I had to do which was prepare meals, clean, and wash the dishes. At the end of the day, none of my peers thanked me, the only thank you I got was getting groped while washing the dishes and getting laughed at.

After what happened I ran to my best friend in tears to tell her what happened just to find her say “It’s not that bad, you’ll be fine” I felt like my blood was going to boil and I was about to start fuming. I stood thinking “Huh, that is so weird, is this how you comfort a person after being sexually harassed?”

Not to sound all grim but that experience showed me that no one really cared about me. No one cared that I got groped or how I felt in that moment. Let alone not even my “best friend” who was supposed to fulfill her role and be there for me. All I wanted was comfort and to be heard out. I could not even tell my mother about this experience until I turned 21 because of how ashamed I felt carrying around that experience and not having the ability to open up and mourn what happened that day and to be able to heal that damaged part of myself. I carried that incident with me for 7 years in silence because I was scared of being honest.

That specific experience was very detrimental to my mental health. Everything began to spiral out of control, I sprawled into a dark depressive state. I began to have intense panic attacks, insomnia, forgetfulness (etc.) After a certain duration of time, I had thoughts of suicide lingering at the back of my head. I questioned my worth, my identity, my culture, my everything.

The bullying and name calling persisted and became so intense that I ended up missing weeks of school time. Some of the boys in my Art class found it funny to make fun of my last name and call me “Prostitute”.

One day in the early springtime, my Art teacher noticed the marks on my wrists as I was painting and had not said anything until I made it to my last period class. I was called down to the guidance counselors office and was interrogated with questions.

“It has come to our concern that one of the staff members noticed cuts on your arms.”

I sat in silence trying hard to contain my anxiety.

“Are you struggling with depression or low mood? Is everything okay at home?”

It came to the point when I got so tired of lying about my pain that I admitted “Yes, I am struggling, I need help”. I dived into the bullying occurrences, the cat calling, my low grades, my self-esteem, the groping, my home situation (etc). After that, I was told that my mother would have to be called down to the school for “safety” reasons even though my counselor promised not to disclose any personal information to my mother. My greatest fear was that I did not want my mom to know that something was wrong.

Of course, my mom came to my school. She was told everything that had happened. I met her at the counselor’s office just to find her wailing in distress “You are such an embarrassment” and “Your counselor told me what you did, how could you do this?”. When the counselor gave us resources for help, my mother grabbed the papers and shoved them into the trash, got up and yanked me out the office.

The next three days that followed, my mother withdrew into her room not saying a word to me. I felt really uneasy and upset. She had her right to be alone but locking herself away from me and avoiding communication altogether? Didn’t make much sense.

I felt extremely guilty for not opening up to my mother sooner. But instead of choosing to be compassionate and caring she chose to resort to anger. She furiously blamed me for being “quiet” and “not trustful” which all landed on my shoulders again. It was “my” fault I thought.

Bottling this up resulted in a full-blown mental breakdown. I could not focus or concentrate because of everything building up. It came to the point where my mom had to choose between living in a toxic community or starting fresh elsewhere.

And even though my mother kept subjecting me to her harmful stigmatizations, the transition from my old school to my new one helped me greatly. When we moved away, I gradually started to feel better emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Very quickly, I ended up adapting to my new high school where I finally made friends.

One thing I cannot deny is that there definitely was a silver lining to all of this. Although I went through severe bullying and torment at school and home, I managed to reclaim my power and through that I discovered my inner peace after being extracted from my toxic high school. The new school that I ended up attending completely changed me and inspired me to become a more authentic version of myself. It was almost as though I did a complete 180°

My new peers and teachers were enthusiastic, open-minded and caring. The new community I was surrounding myself in was a very positive one that broke down stigmas and encouraged deep understanding and acceptance. My mind was blown when I found that it was easier to conversate with girls and guys at my new school, I was gradually becoming confident and more vocal, and I liked the feeling of not hiding myself away from the world. It felt rejuvenating to finally be heard and seen by others.

Slowly but surely, I began to partake in various activities at my school. I joined the Poetry Club which I would have never considered joining had I stayed back in my old school due to fear of how I was perceived. Ultimately, I started caring and nurturing myself more. My new friends supported me, and teachers began to openly listen to my stories and encouraged me to write. When I started writing, I realized that I could use this medium to cope with my depression and anxiety. The acknowledgment made a major difference in my life like never before.

If it were not for the transition from my old high school, I would have not made progress in developing into the woman I am today. I know that I am not my pain, I am not my mistakes.

Do I still struggle and have bad days? Yes, of course. Just like any human being I have my days when I am not feeling the greatest however, I am more open to learning about how to engage with my mind, body and soul in order to soothe myself during turbulent times. I still have that inner critic however, I have been engaging with activities such as bike riding, painting, drawing, and reading to help occupy my mind which as a result has reduced the time that I spend ruminating. Occupying myself has worked magic, I am now able to reduce and control how much time I spend self-loathing, criticizing, and judging myself. Rather than judging every thought, I’ve learned to slow down and observe.

If you stuck along until the end of my story, I want to thank you for reading through my experience. My hope is that my story can shed some light on the myths and stigmas surrounding mental health, especially within the Eastern European community. I want you all to know that you are ALL valid and I wanted to be able to share my story so that my readers know that they are not alone.

#mental health #mental health awareness #depression #mdd #mood disorder #anxiety #gad #my story #hope #bullying #narcissistic parent #end the stigma #recovery #fyp

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diviinitatis · 4 years ago

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@ribbedxgloves / x

Margaret knew what he was doing. She knew vampires are able to control others, a power she wondered why they were allowed to have the first place. It was giving them to much leverage and she was glad she was no mere mortal. She will do everything she can to make sure her plan goes through. Her full proof plan of getting Brent to give all he can for this new demigod had to go through, or else what would she say to her own mother? Brent was not her last hope, he was her only hope of the boy getting any proper training and upbringing, and raising a demigod child on her own was not a feat she wanted to take upon herself.

Could there have been another way? Perhaps not. Telling Brent that there was another Egyptian demigod in this lifetime was probably not going to earn as much diligence and attachment. No one gives all of themselves as a parent does. That she can be sure of.

She can see that the vampire was not going anywhere. Margaret didn’t care. She had no interest in winning him over and so she did not care that he was looking daggers at her direction. Brent did not seem to want to leave him either. What sort of mind trick was this… leech, using on the demigod? Either way, she hated being called madam, hated how she felt when he decided to use that particular word for her. But she knew that if she let him get to her, then in a way he was winning and she cannot have that. Already he seemed to be seeing her as a threat and that gave her a strange sense of satisfaction and annoyance all at once.

Brent’s eyes were wide, needing a moment to grasp all this. Never did he think that such a situation would arise for him, that years later Margaret would come back and tell him that he had a child. Not a baby, a child who understood most things around them that they needed to be careful about what they exposed him to. He heard D’Ablo’s no, which made him look towards him and place a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

The doctor reassured it was the right result before excusing himself. He had another appointment to attend to, or that is what he said but it was the way the long-haired blonde man was looking at him that creeped him out. The doctor was confused because he was sure that the results were right, and there was no need to doubt the information if there was no grey area. Either way, these were weird people and he was glad all this was over and he can get to other patients.

“Let’s head home,” Brent uttered, feeling confused and strangely enough, ashamed. He felt terrible that his past actions and carelessness led to D’Ablo having to experience this with him. Brent knew she was back in his life because she heard the news that he almost died from a wraith attack, so she was aware of the supernaturals.

“What else do you know?” Brent asked on the car ride back. He knew D’Ablo wouldn’t be happy but he needed to talk about all this. Jason was sitting in the back next to Margaret, the rubick’s cube in his hand but he was fast asleep. He continued, “I know you are aware of magic, you had to but I know we used to ignore all the signs. Back then my powers were just developing, and now you told me a huge secret that you were raising our- raising Jason all these years. I should tell you a secret of my own, that I am a demigod.”

“I know,” she answered right away. “I am a sorceress myself, I guess powerful beings tend to gravitate towards each other, whether they are aware of each other or not. Listen, I don’t want you to change your life too much, I just want you to know that you have a son. You can tell your vampire boyfriend to lay off, I’m not stealing you from him. I’m hoping we can make some arrangement with… co-parenting.”

This couldn’t be happening. Brent was stunned silent, and D’Ablo felt like he was the only one trying to put the brakes on this situation. His partner was just-- taking it. There was no way the boy was Brent’s. D’Ablo didn’t believe that Brent would somehow not know that he had a son. Wouldn’t he sense another demigod? Another being with that kind of power-- it wasn’t adding up. D’Ablo didn’t know how, but it just didn’t.

The rational part of him told him that this was an emotional reaction, that he was grasping at straws to find a way out of this mess. His gut was telling him that something wasn’t right. He was old enough to know that the rational part of him was often the part that sabotaged him. His instincts had never led him down the wrong path when he listened to them.

Then Brent said to head home and D’Ablo leapt to his feet. They are not coming home with us! he snapped. Absolutely not! He didn’t doubt he would surprise Brent with this outburst. Darling-- he grabbed Brent’s upper arm and dragged him to the other end of the room. I don’t want them in our house, he hissed, glaring over at Margaret. Not the boy, and especially not her. This is too convenient! A park! A restaurant! Something! They can’t know where we live. I’m not allowing that.

...................................................................................................

They ended up in the car anyway, with D’Ablo stewing in the front seat and shooting dirty glances at Margaret through the rear-view mirror. He was barely listening to the conversation between the two of them, one knee crossed over the other and arms over his chest, but he whipped around and snapped, don’t speak about me as if I’m not here. I’m not so insecure to think that you’d be capable of taking him from me. The snide remark was immature, and he could admit that when he wasn’t shaking with rage, but Margaret thinking she could steal Brent from him was just the cherry on top of the entire fucking cake. Brent doesn’t tell me to do anything. His finger jabbed towards her. And, any arrangement you make with my partner, you also make with me. So if you think this will go smoothly, you are in for a world of disappointment.

#ribbedxgloves #|| Queue.#|| D'Ablo; IC

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missstormcaller · 6 years ago

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CAN’T FEAR YOUR OWN WORLD Vol. II Part 13 Full Translation

This is 1/4 of part 13 on the app

Chapter 12

Fullbringer.

Those who were born amid a connection between man and Hollow that has lasted since ancient times, those who were born out of the cracks.

As for why they came into being, excluding some among the Shinigami, there are few who know the truth.

To the Fullbringers themselves, just as the very concept defied logic, its significance was also incomprehensible; 'power' was bestowed to them from a reality which they had no say in, one in which their 'parents were attacked by Hollows'. There are also those who consider these powers convenient, and thus they choose to indulge in it. However, in the end it is mere borrowed plumes. Those who simply continue to use their powers as they desire without even understanding the significance behind the extraordinary abilities that were bestowed upon them, eventually bring about their own demise. Those who choose not to wallow in greed also possess power that no others had, naturally this caused them to drift away from the world, and as a result, the individuals who ended up remaining hidden from society were in the majority. to go into specifics, the unique inherent ability that is born by distorting the nature of an object they hold a particular attachment to through the power of Fullbring, that is surely something given by gods —— or perhaps it can even be described as the stuff of the gods in itself; rather than being an exaggerated notion, one might be able to say it partially rearranges the foundation on which the 'world's mode of existence' is built. As if saying it was one of their privileges to be able to raise an objection against a system of a world decided by others. An attachment to something in one's vicinity. In other words, the innate abilities belonging to Fullbringers, is the very source which causes them to grow alienated from the world, and at the same time, it is also the chain that keeps these isolated individuals tethered to it. Then what of those who hold no attachment?

Those who were unable to harbour the slightest fragment of sentiment towards the world, towards the various items among their personal effects, and ultimately, even towards their own life; Fullbringers who have refused to establish a connection, have feelings of love or even hatred, what kind of situation do they eventually arrive at as a result?

Michibane Aura was one answer to that question.

She is an extremely rare case, a Fullbringer of two consecutive generations. It appears that her father was a Fullbringer by nature, and her mother an ordinary human being. A chance meeting between her Fullbringer father and her ordinary human mother, a realisation of their hopes. Joined in marriage by a love that endured hardships different to that of ordinary people, the two were bound by fate. —— However, her mother, a mere human, came to be attacked by a Hollow. Her Fullbringer father beat the Hollow back by making full use of his powers, but by that point Aura's mother had obtained a serious injury. They were able to safely deliver their unborn child —— but in return, her wounds were so severe that she ended up losing her life.

Could it not be down to the fact that he was a Fullbringer, the fact that the foetus was tainted with his blood, which ultimately attracted the Hollow? The father who considered as much, continued endlessly to seek out a way to eradicate this power from within himself, even after Aura was born. He isn't the only one who would have to carry on like this. After all, he feared that Aura too would be rejected by the world. Then, ten-odd years later. Towards an Aura who had quickly grown, her father raises his voice after giving a look of great joy. —— "Rejoice, for both I and Aura may be freed from this curse."

—— "There's a Substitute Shinigami who goes by the name of Ginjō Kūgo, he's gathering comrades."

—— "I'm not sure what sort of thing a Substitute Shinigami is supposed to be, but that man, he's a credible fellow."

—— "Because he says, he will absorb the Hollow powers out of our bodies for us."

—— "First, I shall test to see whether or not it's safe. And supposing there were no problems with my findings…"

—— "Aura, then you can live a normal life." As she listened to those words which comprised of hope, jubilation, and the slightest fragment of anxiety, Aura tried to wrap her head around it. —— 'Normal', I wonder what that is. —— Why? —— Aren't Hollow powers, the source of the Fullbring that father taught me? —— Why must we hand it over to somebody else? —— Do we have to eliminate it? —— Then, once we've done such a thing, I'll have nothing whatsoever. —— To live a normal life, what does it mean? —— Does this mean, the current me is not considered 'normal'? Father. Aura who had been confined to a basement by the hands of her father, suddenly contemplated such things.

Aura's father may have been broken by his wife's death. Even though he had confined his own daughter to the basement of their home, he by no means restored to violence, nor did it mean that he neglected her upbringing. As far as her father was concerned, she was something that must be protected, she was all that was left of his beloved wife, that is to say, she was also his very reason of being. He had to protect her. From the Hollows, from the prying eyes of the human race, from the world itself which considered them heretics. For Aura who was brought up within a fish tank-like room at the basement level of their mansion, her world was limited to this confined space and her father alone. If it would only bring her sorrow to learn of the world, her father would make sure not to grant her even a single book. Not to speak of a television, he didn't even inform her of the vast expanse of space which lies beyond her room, she was merely taught such things as basic reading, writing and physical laws, and given training on Fullbring techniques in order to protect herself from Hollows. Her world was complete with that alone. A world that would never be encumbered, and relative to that, neither is it one that would ever expand. A tasteless and odourless world. A world without colour.

A world void of freedom.

A world where one is unable to even discern what difference there was between hope and despair. Her father's cooking was just about the only thing that roused her emotions. Though she had memories of his delicious home cooking, her father had headed towards the location of the man known as Ginjō before it could form a foundation of her Fullbring as the 'attachment'.—— And he never returned again. Even Aura with her limited knowledge is quick to understand that some kind of abnormality had occurred. Nevertheless, she was not able to judge for herself what to do in such an event. Hunger, it is said to be one of the most painful sufferings among the agonies a human being can experience. For Aura who was at least made to eat her meals at her own convenience despite being confined, this first taste of pain was enough to splinter her immature psyche. Even so, that she was not completely broken, was it the result of the Fullbring training which she had been initiated into by her father? Or perhaps, a benefit from the 'factor' that has been present within her as a Fullbringer from the very beginning? Either way, she succeeded in overcoming the situation before the point of no return. When her sense of hunger reached its limit, she raised her hands to the walls of her water tank-like room, drew out its soul using her Fullbringer powers, set it to work, and then —— In the next instant, those walls that confined her —— the tempered glass of her tank is reduced to sand entirely, disappearing from her presence.

With staggered movements, the young girl she was stepped out from the basement and towards the 'outside world'. Remaining oblivious to even the fact that this was still part of the mansion known as her 'inner world', she completely destroys the locks on the doors which were applied sevenfold, and continues walking. The 'world' she had grasped with her own hands for the first time, took the form of a portion of ingredients located inside the kitchen. Having realised that it was something her father puts into the food he would prepare for her, she gave into instinct and devoured it greedily —— the taste of decay immediately resulted in her spitting it out. Ironically, the only part of the 'world' that offered her attachment, ended up being rejected by own body. If it were not for that process, she may have been awakened to her own innate abilities which took 'food' as her attachment and then lived out the rest of her life as an 'ordinary' Fullbringer. Perhaps she would have encountered the man named Ginjō Kugō, perhaps she would have battled Kurosaki Ichigo, or maybe it would have brought about a distinct salvation. However, things didn't work out that way. In her world, something that entertained enough attachment to maintain a connection, never made an appearance. Alternatively, though it was a skewed relationship, it may have been the case that her very father was the link that served as an attachment for her —— and yet, even he disappeared from Aura's world.

Collapsing upon reaching the 'outside' in the true sense of the word, she was lucky to be discovered by a passer-by and was thus given protection by the police as a result. When they found signs of her confinement in her crumbling home, for a short while, the public were in an uproar over the perverseness of the father who imprisoned his own daughter, but soon after, even that uproar died down, and the girl known as Aura was completely forgotten from this world. Perhaps feeling that the girl would be unable to go by a surname belonging to the sort of father who would confine his own daughter; at the hands of the relatives on her mother's side that took her into the care of the Michibane family, she was to live her life after that as "Michibane Aura."

A time span of several more years had passed since then —— she was being integrated into general social life. To say she ‘was integrated’ is probably not entirely accurate. Completely effacing her very being, she continued to pass the time like weeds growing by the roadside. Her physical appearance was very beautiful, naturally it was no surprise that she attracted the eyes of both men and women without discrimination, yet even considering the idea that she hadn't drawn the attention, perhaps it might also be her Fullbring that exerted some kind of influence on her surroundings. It's not like it was her intention to hide from the world. However, given that she was unable to harbour any interest whatsoever towards the world, it's only natural that she would remain placid in that kind of way. Regarding her father whom she had nothing but trust for, the people around her would relentlessly slander him saying "he's a wicked person" and "forget about such a man." If she considers it from the angle of her knowledge of life as a member of society which she later acquired, then admittedly her father could probably be regarded as depraved. Aura had come to notice that as she matured, but now that things have come to pass, it made no difference to her. As far as she was concerned, the real world was inside the confined space of that glass tank, but without any attachment being born there —— even in this 'new world' which should have been stimulating, its entirety can only be seen as an extension of that glass tank.

Upon stretching her interpretation of the world, to her, there was no such thing as 'an existence with an attachment' that was enough to force her 'Fullbring' to develop —— Nevertheless, when Aura herself is asked about this matter, what she had was one sole answer.

"What is important to me… is the very Fullbring that I learned from my father. This saved my life. I was able to survive because of it. Nothing else is needed. I may be indifferent about my father. However, the Fullbring I learned from him, it's my everything." And the 'architect of the question' who had heard that answer, spoke whilst nodding approvingly. "I see, yes I see, so this is how you've grown up huh? How very amusing." She immediately understood that the man who had flashed a sinister smile, is 'something' different to the people around her. 'It' suddenly appeared before her one day. It could not be seen by anyone other than herself. It was a being akin to the white monsters that would attack her from time to time. The man, clad in strangely outdated garments, opens his mouth to speak whilst watching her closely as if in assessment. "You're able to hunt down even Huge Hollows at your age? Moreover, it's highly intriguing that you're using nothing but the basic techniques of a Fullbringer." So saying, the man kicked at the remnants of the white monsters that had been dealt with by Aura just a moment ago and now lay strewn around their feet. "…Who are you? You're not a human are you?" "Oh, me? Where are my manners. I am what you people would call a 'god'. I am what's known as a 'Shinigami'. Have you never heard of our existence from your father?" —— Shinigami. What is recollected in her mind, is not not the absolute being who governs death which occasionally appears in the likes of books that she had read on the 'outside'… but rather, the words her father had left with her in the end.

—— "A Substitute Shinigami who goes by the name of Ginjō, he's gathering comrades."

"…Ginjō?" In response to Aura's murmur, the man who claimed to be a Shinigami laughed in delight. "Hahahaha! I didn't see that coming! What a pity, what a great pity indeed! I guess it would be ideal if that were the case though. Both for you, and for Ginjō Kugō himself." "Who… are you?" Confronted by Aura who, without even a tinge of emotion, raised this question carried in words that only entertained uncertainty, the man blithely contorted his lips even further whilst stating his own name. "My name is Tokinada. Tsunayashiro Tokinada." "Tokinada…?" "Are lowly humans always this rude? You should address me with 'sama'. That's 'Tokinada sama' to you. At present I'm still under house arrest, but the Human World is so very fascinating these days, I have a tendency to sneak out against my better judgement.… Well, that's fine proof that the lot from the head house take no notice of the likes of me." Faced with the man before her eyes who gave an answer to a question she hadn't asked, and on top of that, continues to speak of matters she couldn't quite comprehend the meaning of, Aura tilted her head in confusion, but then —— The matter he spoke of in the next instant, resulted in forcibly drawing her interest. "Ah, that's right, you want to know who I am, rather than my name and circumstances." Just as the friendly smile had emerged on his face, he easily let slip the truth. "It's an uncomplicated matter really. I am a descendant of the family who ordered the killing of your father." "…Huh?" Aura's countenance which was like a deadpan mask, is now thrown into immense disarray for the first time. As if to say that he also found her reaction amusing, the 'Shinigami' who introduced himself as Tokinada, assembles more words. "Your father, his whereabouts is supposedly unknown… but in fact, he's already dead. It won't hurt to thank me for saving you the time and effort to go searching for him you know? If you wish to bawl your eyes out, that would be amusing in its own way. If you wish to revile me as the enemy of your father and kill me in an act of revenge, I'd still consider that fun. Kidō against Fullbring, shall we see which one will come out on top in a contest of skill?" "…I don't understand what you're getting at. My father, your saying he was killed by your family? Why?" "Hn? Oh, the reason? The reason huh. If I could answer you with 'there is no such reason' then it might be possible to belittle your father's memory even more, however I suppose I may as well answer you honestly." Tokinada slowly walked around Aura, at the same time he observes a fluctuation of her Reiatsu. Although he could see her confusion, he could not sense any feelings of unrest caused by emotions like anger or sorrow. As he examined her carefully with eyes that appeared as if they were gazing at a rare species, Tokinada uttered the answer to her question. "It's retrieval. What should be 'property' that originally belongs to us, was fused with the souls of people like your father, and yourself." "……?" "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter does it? What's the most important thing now? What of the detestable family of adversaries, who robbed you of the world inside that confined glass tank that was oh-so precious to you, who now stands before your very eyes?" Hearing those words, Aura's eyes begin to narrow. "You even know about… my past?" "Yes, but of course. Because I have been watching. I suppose the factor lay hidden on your mother's side too. That it would be passed down for two consecutive generations, and what's more, to be a Fullbringer at the same time, this is an extremely rare case. Naturally, you were observed. So, what will you do? Do you accept my challenge of a duel? Obviously I will put up a resistance." "…. There's no need. To be honest, I'm not interested." Watching Aura as she readily shook her head, Tokinada laughs. "Hahaha, that's right, yes I thought as much, you probably don't have that kind of disposition. In the past, when I tested a man who abandoned himself to sentiment, quite the opposite of you, I employed a more elaborate act. Yes, the way that man glared at me with his unseeing eyes, even thinking back on it now, it's intoxicating.… Though, the concept of intoxication itself seems to be nonexistent to you in the first place." After talking about someone who was not present at the scene right now, Tokinada remarked as if treating Aura with contempt. Remaining void of both indignation and fear towards this, Aura poses a question regarding her own fate in an unfazed manner. "Do you intend to kill me too?" "Yes, eventually. Depending on the situation, I may even spare you." "Eventually…?" Towards the man who had declared that her own execution looms ahead, she harboured no emotion whatsoever as before, at the same time, Aura could hardly fathom the other party's intentions and is thus bewildered. Or perhaps, that very bewilderment is the closest element to what constitutes an emotion permitted to Aura. Tokinada reveals his own objectives to her in all sincerity. -- -- As if to announce that he looked forward to how she would receive it, and whatever ending it would lead to. "The 'factor' that dwells within you; rather than retrieving it as components, it's more interesting to put it into operation through a single unit, besides it looks like you would come in handy as a game piece under my control." "I would be… your game piece? What for?" "You have no attachment to this world, correct? That being the case, we should repaint the world anew. If we forge a new world, then maybe you will come to find something you can harbour an attachment to along with it?" Whether or not he was simply talking at random with those words, Aura who at the time was unfamiliar with the world, was unable to understand. Like the snake who enticed the first of mankind, Tokinada gradually ensnares his victim with the thread that are his words. "The heart and left arm ended up returning to that Quincy lot… but what exists within you is also rather unique. I want to turn you into my game piece at all costs. I shall give you something you desire. As long as it's within my power to do so of course." "…Right now, there is no such thing that I desire." "Then, someday its time will come but until then you should give it some consideration. Also, if you are to become my game piece, when it comes to the way you treat others at least, you should do a little better. It doesn't matter if you have to force a smile. Your faint smile, I dare say it's likely to beguile both men and women alike." Disregarding the words of Tokinada who spoke of an unsettling matter, she continued with her questions as if keeping after him. "What is it that dwells within me?" In response to that query, the man grins widely as he reveals a certain truth to Aura. .

. "An organ referred to as the 'Saketsu' (*Binding Chain)… which belongs to a being called the Soul King."

#can't fear your own world #CFYOW #BLEACH #BLEACH NOVEL #mytranslationtag #michibane aura #Tokinada Tsunayashiro #Soul King #Saketsu of the Soul King #ginjo kugo #Fullbringer #Tsunayashiro clan #Ryohgo Narita

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wreckthelist · 4 years ago

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on ‘BE’ing here: part i

rambling of sorts on Grammy nominated artist Bangtan Sonyeondan

(note 1: I was planning to complete this the day of the nomination, but judging from the state of how things are - this right here is the opportune moment to, as my friend Mint had put it, clear out whatever I’ve been wanting to do but didn’t get the time to)

When Spotify announced, loud and clear, on that 2020 Year-End summary instagram story, Dynamite was the song that helped me through 2020 (this fuck-up of a year), that wasn’t an understatement.

I’ve seen Bangtan before, heard of them in passing, even (slightly, really slightly - when you’re hanging out in film-dom or western doms, I doubt you’d come in contact with a full-fledged Korean dom as it is, or perhaps my circles were small and quite closed in on themselves. Regardless!) - and opened that Boy With Luv SNL performance for my parents on the TV in the living room, not long after they went on the show. But it took that one song, one full English song, for me to listen.

(sorry and thank you Namjoon for that diss. Yes, the song’s message’s definitely digestible and easy to consume - for foreign, western audiences. No one much had to care what you guys had to say way back when and they were wrong for it.)

Dynamite pretty much saved my life. (Still waiting for that damn vinyl, BigHit. Think I’ll get it come new year’s.)

The first time I started listening, I couldn’t really stop. I think I played and replayed and replayed the song 20++ times as I did mundane household chores which were asked of me in the morning. Sunday August 24th, my life was transformed (and my digital and physical wallets along with it. Sobs.)

I had no idea who was singing which part, no idea which boy was which, but what got me in, locked and loaded and in place, were the beats, the uplifting sounds that got me dancing again after a messy heartbreak caused by a personification of immaturity who had refused to let go. I was only one week into my new job (old job again now. Such is the way of life - and we lead separate ones now, no reason to cry over invisible lives and imagined smiles or smirks of satisfactions I am not in any current position privy to - or will ever be. Thank God.)

Then there were the messages - the lyrics - “I’m diamond, you know I glow up.” - I mean, Yes, Fucking YES - Kim Seokjin, of course I’m a piece of precious Jewel. Of course I am one and whole of myself and one of a kind (apologies for being cliches, felt good to type out loud right). Asked on Twitter who the “other black-haired” guy was and learned that it was Hobi. Spent time watching a couple of interviews, took 3 hours to tell the boys apart (”You had a lot of free time,�� Shareef said, amused, and I quite abashedly admitted to him yes.), and picked him as my bias (little did I know).

I was attracted (still am) to sunshine. I needed smiles and laughters like his in my life. He stood out to me in almost every interview, beaming with his heart-shaped lips and his eternal catchphrase - “I’m your hope.” I was exactly at that point in my life when I needed to hear that. From him, in that voice, from those lips, with those eyes.

And I thought, dear god. I’m always attracted to guys who bring smiles to my face. Of course it has to be him.

(Natalie replied “You’ve joined the party!” in a reply to my screencap of Taehyung wearing those adorable black-rimmed glasses on Stephen Colbert not long after.

That Beatles-Boy With Luv performance remains one of my favorites.)

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Bangtan has since performed and performed and performed Dynamite, and to this day I and the rest of the fandom have witnessed and seen about 30++ performances of Dynamite, and it has yet to grow old on us. (Well.) I swear I can still play the song at least once a day, and that irresistible bubble of hope in Jungkook’s voice in the opening simply shines through. The rest of the song just does its magic - every single time.

I mean, “Life is sweet as honey,” “I’m in the stars tonight,”? Talk about hope, about confidence, looking forward. Straight and simple as that. I had yet to discover what BTS truly has in store.

Note 2: My favorite dance move in the performance itself is Hoseok’s, for the Japanese taping (FNS Music Festival) right here.

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After Dynamite, I burned through the usual favorites, seeing as there was a literal treasure trove of Bangtan songs to discover and listen to, thanks also to this chart.

Go Go and Pied Piper are fun teases to listen to every now and then. Their Halloween dance practice and MNet countdown (I could die over Tae’s clear-rimmed glasses) are bundles of colorful energy. (Until I came across Lotte 2018 Jungkook?! Adding Best of Me here because it’s become a recent favorite. Dance moves are impeccable. There was a stint in my life where I was watching the Airplane Pt. 2 MV almost every day because of how in love I was over Taehyung’s whole look - pink hair, flowing robes, and how the boys pull off their outfits. )

I proceeded mainly through the orange branch, bought myself a few Love Yourself albums along the way, and the day I saw this Min Yoongi in In the Soop, my Bangtan life took a turn.

Yep. Simplicity.

What’s not to fall in love with?

One of my current, low-ranking regrets may include having forgotten the exact moment I first listened to Trivia: 轉 Seesaw, but I fell hard and deep. To that point of no return when I read the lyrics and that analogy Yoongi had penned.

I mean, add Autumn Leaves (the complexity of layered notes, beats, and resulting emotions... ah) and you’ve got this king of breakup songs right here.

What beautiful words, what gorgeous language. I wish I could learn Korean just to fully appreciate the message.

Another friend recommended me Butterfly and I lost my shit realizing they referenced Murakami.

More obscure songs like 134340, Paradise and Sea I didn’t get to till much later. Whalien 52 could make me cry just with the lyrics alone (I doubt my exes had ever felt that level of emotional toward me - the more tragic thing is that the doubt would always exist). Just One Day was that track I had on loop this one afternoon I had to go into town for a dinner party, and Miss Right was an accidental discovery that had me grinning and blushing to the boys’ voices alone, same as 21st Century Girl (’Cause you’re my only girl, oh yea. If you love me, just say it straight. We love a confident but committed guy.)

*Dope is that one MV I waited to watch because of my love of uniforms and managed to get to on a day I could not recall.

*This MIC Drop MAMA performance is the hottest clothes-on, turn on performance I’ve ever watched.

Coffee was the track I first listened to on a drive back from a rather unsuccessful and uneventful beach (bitch?!) trip, and the bitter nostalgia cut me deep. Jungkook’s voice could string up my soul any day of the week. Yes, baby, I still drink Caramel Macchiato every time I think of you - the song, not the person, or any person at all.

I discovered HOME because of this comfy Kimmel performance and died over the camaraderie and obvious ties they have as a family.

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Plus a blue-themed home, uh, have you seen my bedroom, sir?

Boy With Luv will cheer me up any time of day - no thoughts but blue haired Tae and bubblegum pink haired #Jimim, indeed. (That mirroring of a glow-up from the 상 남자 of Boy In Luv is genius. Girl, ‘m not begging for you no more, but letting you know that I’m whole and ready and intent on keeping you safe.)

Spring Day I listened to on an off day in October and wrenched my own heart over the lyrics, even starting off a chapter in one of my fics with the verses that hit me most in particular.

The ON:E concert re-introduced me properly to Filter, My Time (sexy personified as a performance), Persona, Interlude: Shadow, Ego, UGH!, Moon (Prince Kim Seokjin - you have my heart, and my light, always), and 00:00 (picked up through Twitter that it was the song for personal therapy and reminded me of that quote - nothing good ever happens between midnight and 2am, go to sleep. Add 2!3!, which I’d properly listened to after viewing the ON:E exhibit, to this and we are done.)

It wasn’t until I listened to Blood, Sweat, and Tears that I went full-blown head over heels (more than I was before). I’m a musical theater kid, have always been at heart, and those boys dancing in the suits and literature and arts references. You could have just plunged that knife a bit deeper into my heart.

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Needless to say that I bought Demian couple of days after (my 3rd Herman Hesse! Regrettably not my favorite.)

Blood, Sweat and Tears joins my own mini self-compilation of songs on the attraction and sublime relishing of a toxic relationship. That sweet temptation that’s so lush in theory yet acidic in real life.

You’re willing to give it all to this person, this passion, this love, this lure of attraction, imprisonment, and just lose yourself.

You’re begging to be hurt, even when you know it.

You’re asking to stay bathed in acid, drown yourself in punishment, and you’re okay. As long as the “you” in the lyrics is ok - to have you.

You’ve signed over your mind, your body and soul - “I know well they’re all yours” - what sinful admittance, what a delicious way to say you’re under the other’s spell. Not like I haven’t been there before (fitting to think of Jimin holding that apple. God.)

“Peaches and Cream/Sweeter than Sweet/Chocolate Cheeks and Chocolate Wings” - talk about dessert, about diabetic, diabolical sweetness that both indulge and burn your soul. These are saccharine metaphors and goddamn if I wasn’t and am all over them.

Sweet as they are, they melt - they expire, they’re tangible but transient, and you’ve chosen to have them anyway, just to taste them, just to know, to satisfy your sense and just to possess.

“There is a ‘bitter’ next to your ‘sweet’“ - this is my kind of writing. My kind of getting your sweet now and being punished for it later, the kind my friend had commented before of living for today and choosing to forgo the punishments of tomorrow that you’re all too aware of.

And here comes Hoseok!

Kiss me, it's okay if it hurts Just make it as tight As that I can't feel the pain anymore

Goddamn. That Blade Runner 2049 phrase about how pain makes you human - this is next level of hurting just so you could feel. This is hurting to know that it’s real - that the ‘you’ exists - and this “tightness”, this tense sensation, is only reminding you that the lover(?) is worth the pain (grit your teeth and continue!)

Baby, it's okay if I get drunk I'll drink you in deep now Deep into my throat The whiskey that is you

Intoxication - another one of my favorite topics sprouting a platitude of interpretations. Aside from being a sucker (and loving it myself) of saying “baby,” (signaling intimacy, no less) - this is an artful, eloquent way to sketch another version of “love is the/a drug,” which the lover/”you” is consciously consuming with consent.

There’s a repeat in the “d’s” that definitely conjures an imagery of diving deeper and deeper into a bottomless abyss, or of drinking your bottles dry - but this is a translation so that’s that.

But where we have been (or were) in love, we could feel the other person intoxicating, consuming us, consuming our senses, straying our conscience, blurring the lines among reality, reasoning and our own thoughts and what they may have driven us to think or view, just like alcohol or drugs would lead you to do. That inebriated state would be just a self-enriching cycle of docile submission and self-driven continuance.

It doesn't matter if it hurts Tie me up so I can't escape Hold me tight and shake me up So that I can't come to my senses

Like Jimin with the cloth over his eyes in the MV, this is another conscious decision to be held imprisoned, bounded, senses so disrupted you’re choosing to stay. I don’t know about you, but there’s an inkling of weakness in me when I’d chosen to do that, to opt for that choice and stay in something I was fully aware from experience wasn’t going to last (’can’t come to my senses’) but choosing to blind myself to indulge in the fleeting sweetness anyway.

When you’re making that firm and persistent decision to beg for pain and consciously choosing to numb your senses so you could feel nothing else but what you may have thought you desire to feel - you’ve got it bad, baby. That absinth’s hit you hard.

(And we love it.)

Kiss me on the lips A secret just between the two of us Deeply poisoned by the jail of you I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew The grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway

Yoongi’s “Kiss me”, like his “불타오르네” (and obviously “용서해줄게“) in Fire may as well linger in my ears as my personal on-demand whisper sounds. His voice is that sexy as fuck ASMR I never knew I needed (and queue Ben Whishaw’s...)

Here we see “poisoned” harking back to intoxication, and “jail of you,” calling back to the whole verse I’d interpreted above before. What interested me here was the couplet - “Kiss me on the lips/a secret just between the two of us” - kissing as an act of sealing a deal or secret reminds me of age old love songs, of promises made between lovers before they part. Not to mention, this is that sexy, 섹시한 way of “sealing the deal” you may have heard about.

“I cannot worship anyone but you...” holds the lover up high, almost godlike, maybe on a pedestal. It’s that everest, that peak point when you’re more than head over heels in love, when you’re able to see no one but this person. “Worship” is that word signaling holy, direct, and submissive devotion - just powerful.

“...and I knew/The grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway” - again the voice of submission in line with above verses, submitting yourself to temptation, same as biting into that apple despite knowing consequences. “Grail” embodies the whole MV image of the classics.

Close my eyes with your caress I can't resist it anyway I can't even escape anymore

You are too sweet, too sweet Because you are too sweet

“Close my eyes” is the same as asking to be blinded (see above). Adding “with your caress” only enhances the intensity of the speaker’s desire, of the intimate and physical nature - you know full well what that person does to you, your heart, conscience, and senses with just one simple touch or the trace of a finger on your skin - especially someone as addicted to skinship as I am. The repetition “You are too sweet...” brings us back full circle to Namjoon’s dessert verses, intoxication, indulgence, and submission.

What a delicious song. I fall in love every time I listen.

Second song in my trilogy is Love Maze - an intoxication of a different, lighter flavor yet still an an intoxication nevertheless.

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Trapped in a maze of decisions Exhausted by all the different chaos We’ve wandered around, looking for the answer Lost in the maze, in the darkness

Jimin’s first verse traverses over the trials and tribulations of every day life - naturally we’re caught in decision-making from the moment we open our eyes (ah, sigh. my major. what the hell), and that, in extreme cases, can escalate to choice paralysis). Life is a mess, to say simply. At times you can feel (and you are) lost in some sort of maze which seems impossible to escape from.

[Verse 2: Jungkook] We ran and ran endlessly But all the fake noise Can’t tear us apart It’s true baby [Refrain: Jimin, Jin] We must believe only in ourselves Can’t let go of each other’s hands We need to be together forever

And now this is just asking your partner to hold your hand throughout the darkness, holding hands while the walls come tumbling down type of way.

[Verse 3: RM] People say That I’ll end up a fool But I don’t wanna use my head I don’t wanna calculate Love ain’t a business Rather like a fitness I’ve never been in a calculating love I know it’ll be cold like winter But I still wanna try

Yup, sure. Love isn’t logical, and we feel it when we feel it. This is a more considered version of love or succumbing to temptation/infatuation, compared to Blood, Sweat, and Tears, see here:

If you push me, I’ll fall, just raise me up again Even if I pull, you don’t have to come

Upon a close look, this is the more confident, the more ‘out-there’ you - like a rocking doll, a full human ready to get back up on its own once fallen, not a blind follower or submissive slave. What I find particularly captivating is the bottom verse - “Even if I pull, you don’t have to come” - this is a show and declaration of independence at its finest. I’ll woo you, I’ll say I want you, and I’ll grab you toward me, but you “don’t have to” be with me, [if you don’t want to.] (Plays I’m Fine)

No matter what others say, don’t listen Just let’em talk, whatever they say The more they do, the more I’m sure

Honestly this reminded me of a past relationship, where figurative hand-holding was the emphasized union to help us make it through. Would have been half the fight if it was that aspect alone, though.

Baby just don’t give a damn

This is the sentence I sing to every single time I play this aloud. The sentence.

I always think, even if eternity is hard I wanna try it, let’s be forever

My ex once asked, “How long is forever?” just ripping off that sign in a mall we walked past, and yes, that’s what I do remember about us. Part of it. Since then, mentions of eternity like this has always hit me.

And forever doesn’t exist, guys. COVID does.

(Bad joke, sorry.)

The song that completes the trilogy is one I discovered only last week. My last BTS x Steve Aoki crossover: Waste It On Me.

Queue neon club lights and bad decision drinks. Kook being Kook, his voice in songs like these, House of Cards, and Savage Love slices you right through, like a young, impressionable boy asking you to give this love a try, to forget yourself in being attracted to him, and to waste the time you aware you’re willing to waste on him:

[Verse 1: Jungkook] You say love is messed up You say that it don't work But, you don't wanna try, no, no (You don't wanna try, no, no) And baby, I'm no stranger To heartbreak and the pain of Always being let go (Always being let go)

This verse, man. When your heart’s rusty and battered and beaten and broken enough, “Baby, I’m no stranger/to heartbreak and the pain of always being let go,” is that overwhelming elixir to slosh it altogether, like soaking your lone damn heart in warm bathwater, and with Jungkook’s inviting voice, you may have added your favorite flavor of Lush bathbomb.

[Pre-Chorus: Jungkook, RM & Jimin] And I know there's no making this right, this right (This right) And I know there's no changing your mind, your mind (Your mind) But we both found each other tonight, tonight (Oh yeah) So if love is nothing more than just a waste of your time

It’s that exact moment when it’s the night of your birthday, you’re all dressed up with only one place to go in a town where you knew a handful of people, and the guy at the bar had bought you a shot of mysterious substance to drink. So you’re here. So he’s here. And the drink’s here, between you two, and you’ve downed it in. And you’re here.

So why not?

‘Waste it on me’ is a sexy invitation in itself, that momentarily grasp for pleasure. Ok, yea. I’m all yours.

Tonight.

[Verse 2: RM] So we don't gotta go there Past lovers and warfare It's just you and me now (Yeah, yeah) I don't know your secrets But I'll pick up the pieces Pull you close to me now (Yeah, yeah)

Namjoon’s voice has always been sexy to me. Masculine, dominating, in control, in the same way that Yoongi’s raspy, gravelly voice grabs you and stubbornly holds you close.

Maybe this guy you’d just met in a club’s blabbering away to pierce who you may have been or who you’re presenting yourself to be just for you to be with him, and takes ahold of your waist before you could say no.

What do you say?

Yay, don't you think there must be a reason? Yeah, like we had our names Don't you think we got another season That come after spring? I wanna be your summer I wanna be your wave Treat me like a comma I'll take you to a new phrase Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away If I'm not your taste, babe, waste Waste it on me

I’m speechless over the “Treat me like a comma, I’ll take you to a new phrase,” wordplay. Most of all, it illustrated my past relationship in that all too on-the-nose way, for me and him both. English is sexy, man, please don’t ever say it isn’t.

“Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away/If I’m not your taste, babe.” I’m partial to babe as much as baby, let’s be real. Haha. The whole “come just eat me” paints that picture of the speaker being “consumed,” just devoured whole (echoing the earlier image of being “washed over” from “I wanna be your wave”) by the to-be-lover, without a care, a giving-himself-away submission reminiscent of Blood, Sweat, and Tears’ intoxication and blind bondage. The speaker here doesn’t even care if he’s not tailored to the ‘lover’s’ desire, ready to be discarded, treating himself here as disposable, even worse than Love Maze’s partnered hopefulness and teamwork or Blood, Sweat and Tears’ irresistible, spellbound attraction.

Aaand there you have it, my ramblings on Bangtan (as of now). There’s just so, so much - I’ve recently received my HYYH Pt.1 (RIMBAUD! SEXY CONVERSE!!! BOYZ with FUN!) and YNWA albums, not to mention my rap line songs, vocal line, In the Soop, Performance details, Run BTS (source of joy and laughter, more than any man has ever affected me), Premiums, and the whole “Love Yourself” concept + B.E. Itself.

I’ll be sure to pop back in very, very soon!

#BTS

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centaurrential · 4 years ago

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“The Big See”

Before I start this next project, here are some addenda to my last post:

1. I made an error in my section on units of measurement. The time it takes for light to travel a meter is actually approximately 1/300,000ths of a second. However, what I said about using light as a standard for measurement still stands, and it’s pretty reasonable to at least think of it that way. That’s because light is sort of hierarchical in the sense that we obey it (at least we did, initially), and we don’t run the risk of falling into infinite regress, which according to professional philosophers is a problem (I might say that with a little sarcasm...). We didn’t build light like we do its human counterparts in terms of ‘boss-dom’; we only perform something like an irrigation.

2. An important intermediary in the psychology of a grocery shopper is an assumption that the supermarket will have what they need. The very fact that people even make these kinds of assumptions is indicative of how advanced our economy has become. So again, please stay mindful about the processes, that you don’t see plainly, that ensure you can have what you want. In one episode of “The Crown”, set some time in the 1960s, the Prime Minister of Great Britain (who happens to be the leader of the Labour Party - go figure) remarks that the opening of a new supermarket signals the “democratization” of food and other essentials, and he is quite right. Our essentials (and certainly non-essentials too!) have been consolidated into single, publicly accessible buildings--anyone can walk in and out. Many different products sit on the shelves, inertly, side by side--neighbours--as the inconspicuous faces of a wildly complex yet hidden ecosystem.

P.S. The link between human psychology and economics will resurface later in this post.

When developing characters, writers of fiction often comment on the momentum that launches the characters into writing themselves, almost independently of the author’s own mind. Hmm, I wonder why that is? Maybe it has something to do with that little thing that starts with the letter “A” and ends with “rchetypes”... I feel the same way about my own writing, which I view like a fiddlehead unfurling into a frond.

Ok, so, I was brought into this world at the intersection of a lot of different forces at work--I was a bridge between two completely different socio-economic classes, and I suppose that inevitably set me on a trajectory by which I would find myself in many, many diverse and often peculiar social situations. You know, if you’ve lived a quiet life that doesn’t involve zig-zagging from one insane scenario to the next, you’d assume that all people are a certain way. I will never say that I was always comfortable in such situations, but as a result of introspection and for my own sanity I needed to excavate some gratitude for those experiences. The reason for that is, the more difference, the more heterogeneity in the set of things you come into contact with, the more clearly you can see things for what they are. Here’s an analogy: It’s akin to the meaning of something, carved by a sentence. In the spirit of boundedness, sentences are then coated with another layer of meaning as they sit within paragraphs. Paragraphs within stories, and stories within ‘bodies of canonical literature’.

I admit it: I am a spy. When I was younger and less self-assured I’d often find myself the onlooker in social situations, and if I was a participant, it would often be to my detriment. Sometimes that was ‘cause something about me attracted negative attention, and sometimes because I found myself in a state of social paralysis, not having a clue what magic word would open the sky and send the ladder of social climbing down and within my reach. But in all of my glorious sponginess I picked up little observations here and there and so this, below, is the culmination of all that.

This is a commentary on human relationships, and particularly what people think they should offer to those relationships. I must make it clear that I am not pretending the problem is an easy one to solve because we are dealing with instinct, and deeply ingrained attitudes, but I do have principles and I do have an orientation that I prefer. Ultimately the way one chooses to act is their own prerogative (given a certain amount of knowledge that they possess), but there are always sacrifices to be made and consequences to think about. And for those who are capable of it, guilt is a beast.

I was once in a conversation with a mental health professional--a psychiatrist, to be exact. Meaning he had a legal licence to practise mental healthcare, to conduct psychotherapy, and to prescribe medication. He had what we think of as ‘credentials’. He said to me, “relationships don’t define you”.

WHAT?!

This is the kind of person that is entrusted with the emotional mending and security of a damaged individual, and these approaches to life are thought to be okay? Imagine someone impressionable, lost, misunderstood, and unable to understand people in return, taking this idiot’s word as law, and then applying that attitude toward their life’s activities from thereon out. It’s like, why the fuck are you feeling shitty in the first place? It’s because people can be cruel, and if you’re telling me that that’s not at all involved in forming your character, then...well, I just don’t know what to say to that. And the converse is true, too: as a human agent, you do have a responsibility to other people. This psychiatrist was basically saying that you are free from obligations to others, and I think that’s definitely reflected in the attitudes of the immature. If you don’t want that kind of responsibility then go be a hermit, completely alone, in the middle of nowhere, and let’s see how well you do. At least if you’re on your own you won’t have to be accountable to others.

You see, for the people who find themselves on the more radical side of the spectrum of reductionism, nothing and nobody is special, and nothing is sacred. In fact, I think reductionism breeds nihilism. (FYI, if you’re new to the idea of ‘reductionism’, it simply means that anything and everything can be explained in scientific terms. So for example, an emotion you may be feeling is only due to the presence of a hormone, or neurotransmitter, and along with that, its molecular structure and how that interacts with your neural structure.) Every damn thing can be explained to oblivion...

Fools.

Imagine physically entering a room with furnishings arranged a certain way, art of a particular kind on the wall, different colours interacting with one another, and the feeling you get when you take it all in. Do you feel good? It must mean the different elements giving the space definition are interacting harmoniously according to your innate sensibilities. Do you feel bad energy? Then there is something amiss. Maybe you can figure out what needs changing, maybe you can’t. Maybe it’s so overwhelmingly bad that you have to leave the space. I see human interaction the same way, and I challenge the reductionists to piece together every little detail about the nice room that they can, and then give me a scientific explanation for why those details produce a certain feeling. I want it to be revelatory enough to make me go, “So THAT’s why!!!”

I hope you trust your grammar.

I don’t know much about feng shui, but I’d imagine what I described above is similar. And because it’s obvious different people have different aesthetic preferences, it follows that the ‘energetic configurations’ they prefer are different too. By now you probably realize that when I use the term “energy” I’m not using it like E = mc2, I’m using it in the New Age way.

Sometimes quasi-reductionists allow for things called “emergent properties”. That basically means that there are little elements that can easily be described in an atomistic fashion, but that “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”. If you think that way, then maybe the idea of a soul has some credibility. I think this is what Rene Descartes (also the inventor of the Cartesian plane I used in my last post) grappled with in his investigation into where the mind “sat”. He decided it was the pineal gland, but he was saying that there needs to be a location, a physical location. The mind-body dichotomy is a difficult thing to resolve, if it’s even a dichotomy at all... But I think in general people have a hard time with the concept of a soul because the soul is intangible, and science is now so integral to the way we live our lives that without scientific explanation we are left dumbfounded. But we can’t just leave it at that; oh no, it’s yet another frontier that must be conquered... If there’s something we think we can know, we must know it.

It’s sort of been decided that reason in decision-making is best practice. That was to ensure the people who make decisions are trustworthy; that their personal biases and wacky emotions wouldn’t get in the way of valuable, objective contributions to the development of civilization. If you consider the lay of the land today and you think it’s a good thing, then that shift in thinking paid off nicely. But emotion of ANY kind is now thought to be an interference; it is unprofessional, it is inappropriate, it is not reasonable.

In fact, for many people, relationships are just an afterthought. Like parents who don’t think twice about the way they say things to their young children when admonishing them. And emotional labour isn’t thought to require as much mindfulness, or to be as rewarding as market-related labour and therefore the young ones you’re responsible for teaching about how to behave as honourable people in the world suffer greatly. Wake up! Those little ones will, in no time, be carrying the anchors of the future within them. Child psychologists have identified the age period between 2 and 4 years to be absolutely crucial in forming a child’s sociability. Of course the relative progression of time for an adult compared to a child is fast. Two years can go by in what seems like an instant (and parents do often say that is the case), but for a child of that age, two years is a hell of a long time. Additionally, we need to take seriously the fact that investment of that type is not something you can just go back and change in case it doesn’t suit you in the future. It’s either now, or never.

And as those kids grow up, they’re going to find something to invest in, too.

Say you, the now-grown kid, decide to one day admit to a friend that, God forbid, you want to fall in love and you are searching for your partner. The usual response is: “Focus on your education. Focus on your career; get that established before you do anything like that.” And the best one of all: “Have some ‘fun’ before you settle down.” Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here.

Right off the bat you know this friend doesn’t give equal importance to both “The Career” and to romantic relationships. You know what that’s a product of? Propaganda. I mean, how could you possibly be a productive member of a capitalist society if you devote a good chunk of your energy to another person? There’s no bankable return on that kind of labour! The perpetrators of that propaganda hate real love because it’s so compelling and because it compels people like that it’s considered a “distraction” - it interferes with the profiteer’s ability to squeeze out of you everything that they possibly can. So what they’ve decided to do is market individualism and radical independence as ‘the right way’. And not only that, but what real love can show you is a need to switch up your priorities, that there is less you need in the way of materialism because the love from this person sends you to outer SPACE!

We’re told it’s a dangerous thing for a person to be dependent on another in that way. But that is yet another example of things we just assume to be the truth because that’s the structure of the current zeitgeist.

And what’s more, you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket because people are fickle. Your education is something no one can take away from you, but your partner could leave in a heartbeat, if they decide there are better “opportunities” around. But then I say to the partner who took off: if you think of love and romance as opportunities, maybe you shouldn’t allow other folks to waste their time on you. And even if you are like that and you think you’ve found someone you could legally bind yourself to, you’re certainly not spiritually bound, and I would hate to be that other person, knowing that you’re not throwing your entire might into it; that you’re not loving at full capacity.

Of course, that conception of “romancing” can be learned too, and this is where that notion of “fun” comes into play. To be shallow and promiscuous, to make sure that you can lose your virginity as fast as possible, the free love, the cool detachment from relationships - it’s all bullshit. The sixties were obviously a pivotal moment for the shift in perception of sex and for some reason people thought the revolution to be completely justifiable. Now, people are convinced that giving it all away is a sign of liberation, of self-confidence, of self-determination - even if there’s something tugging at them that may be hinting otherwise. And even if that’s genuinely what you want to do with yourself, I can’t help but think of that attitude as being inherently nihilistic.

Many years ago I was reading an issue of Cosmopolitan where I came across an interview with Scarlett Johansson. Never mind what her personal decisions looked like, she said something profound. She said that sex (of the kind that involves both a penis and a vagina) is fundamentally different between men and women: for women, sex literally is invasive. People with penises share; people with vaginas invite. And for a young woman to try to convince herself that she should feel empowered by these invitations, it can be seriously damaging. I’d say the same is true for a lot of men, who really do believe that sex should be shared in the context of committed love, but conventional wisdom dictates that men find it easier to be promiscuous, to separate emotion from sex, and that women really need to “catch up” as part of their commitment to feminism. This obviously applies to non-binary individuals too. Like I said earlier, what one decides to do is their prerogative, but look critically at your reasons for making certain choices. Don’t, for one second, force yourself to believe that being promiscuous is the only way you can take ownership of your sexuality. Coercion doesn’t just happen on a one-to-one level.

The point is that people aren’t fucking disposable, but of course disposability is capitalism’s modus operandi and that doesn’t just apply to that smartphone of yours that’s gonna break in a couple of years (or that will be superseded by a better model, whichever comes first).

People do still look for love; it’s in our nature. But these days, they make lists of qualities their ideal partners must possess. And it’s always generic shit like, “must have a sense of humour, must be kind, must be good-looking”...o rly? But the things that cause you to love a person can’t be captured with such dull language. When I think of these lists, I think of that song by Beyonce, “Irreplaceable”. She’s telling the dude not to get too comfortable because the spot he is currently occupying can easily be filled by someone else! That is not love, that is opportunism. Why would you even bother? When you really love a person, you think, “This is the truth. Things cannot be any other way.”

I also happen to think that once people sort of reach the age when marriage becomes a serious consideration, they often don’t marry because of love and a willingness to merge their lives. It’s more like, “Well you seem convenient and this is yet another thing I have to check off my to-do list.” I really want to give some folks a good shake and say to them, you do realize that the wedding you are planning is ONE day where you get to be the star, where you’re gathering the people that mean something to you so you can make a public declaration of your love and commitment to care for the person’s heart (because that is your responsibility), and that a wedding day is absolutely nothing like the rest of your life?!

And then there’s that trope in modern Hollywood, where partnered, career women gather around wine and complain about their significant others. Guys do it too, but they’re obviously shown drinking beer instead of wine and it’s more like, “Oh, you know the old ball-and-chain said I did X wrong today...” And similarly, in “The Crown”, where Tony, Princess Margaret’s photographer lover distinctly says, “Marriage is the opposite of happiness” - but they get married anyway!!! It’s like there’s a brick wall that’s being thrown up, cutting you off from your partner. That doesn’t look like a real partnership to me. And I think, the moment you decide that’s what you’re gonna do, that’s how you’re gonna live your life in response to this other person, then you should seriously reconsider your choices. I used to look at people who behaved like that and think, God, is that what marriage is actually like? Then I want no part of it! Those sorts of arrangements inevitably lead to misery. And divorce can send a person packing with their tail between their legs because it is perceived as a failure. And rightly so. It is a failure of mindfulness, it is a reflection of the “afterthought” I spoke of earlier. It is an indication of your decision to work harder at other shit than at your most important relationship. It is a situation where gratitude is replaced by taking things for granted.

People tend to think that if you’re not a relative of someone’s, that when the “only” stakes at hand are romantic/intimate ones, that such a person is untrustworthy. That’s because those bonds are no longer thought to be strong enough to withstand tests. Let me provide you with a reality check: sometimes even your blood relatives cannot be trusted because they don’t always have your best interests at heart. And if you assume that their goodwill toward you is a given because you are a “natural” family, you would be wrong. Again, you must always pay attention to a person’s motives, what spurs them into action, and we would all do well to treat opinions formed out of resentment with a grain of salt.

You may think that psychopaths are only out to end conscious lives, but those are only the obvious ones, and often they don’t get very far because they are so obvious. The people who put their own evil to good use are disguised in much better ways - so well that you can’t even tell, and they’re the ones that deliberately manipulate your thinking for their own benefit, but definitely not for yours. You may have encountered someone like this in your personal life and sensed that something was “off”. But you’re in denial because there’s no way someone close to you could have evil in them, and you really want to believe that he or she is a good person, but you certainly won’t say anything for fear of blowing the roof off the house. How awkward would THAT be?

I want to offer a new definition of capitalism, which is “the method of creating problems where there are none, and offering a solution that can only be purchased.” Problems are identified in advertising and marketing. Solutions are in the shops. Take make-up for example. I’ve worn it, and at some point I’ll probably wear it again. It can be fun; it can be a way to express yourself as part of a sartorial performance, where people gather to see what you have to (non-verbally) say. But I do not approve of the thinking that a person needs to distort their features, every damn day, because they think their natural faces aren’t good enough. Over the last decade or so, make-up development and marketing has basically exploded and been supported by seemingly innocuous vehicles such as Instagram. And why is it that women suffer disproportionately in this arena compared to men? Don’t get me wrong - men have their problems too, which I will talk about in a bit. But THIS is just so lopsided: what capitalists are telling you is that there is a gap between who you really are and how you should be, and you need to fork out the money, and you need to engage in more labour, to close that gap. No doubt though, what they demand of you must be reasonable enough that it will captivate a large enough audience to make development worth it.

“Aspect perception” is key here, and I’m not talking about ‘contouring of the face’. I’m talking about the entrenched attitude that your plain skin, in all its blemish-y loveliness, needs fixing. I do believe it takes courage to go out in public and leave behind the foundation and the concealer and the other like, SEVEN products some women use daily, because in a way you are baring yourself and you are making yourself vulnerable. Flamboyant women have it easier than flamboyant men, that’s for sure. But male faces are fine just as they are; why can’t that hold true for women?

So now we’re entering the territory of that wild beast we like to call feminism. I just want to make a disclaimer before I piss a lot of people off, in case I haven’t already done so: there is absolutely no way an umbrella term like feminism can equalize all women in terms of the problems we experience, and we must be very careful to sift through those problems that women happen to experience, and those problems that women have because they are women. After all, feminism is at its core a meditation on causes and effects, problems and ways to mitigate them. I mean, I don’t blame people for the messiness of this topic - it’s really bloody hard to put one’s finger on a single, fundamental fact from which all problems emanate. What I absolutely cannot condone is the idea that the solution is to HATE MEN. Sure, there are disgraceful men around, but there are also disgraceful women who believe that they possess a sort of “moral immunity” just because they are women. I’ve had conversations with (at least partially straight) women who may or may not be in relationships with men, who BASH men for the sole reason that they are men! It’s shocking. Would you want to be in a relationship with a person who felt that you were a problem because of something you couldn’t change?

I understand that patriarchy can hit women hard. Some more so than others. But men suffer because of “patriarchy” too, and they don’t always enjoy the privilege that leftists assume men have. Let me explain it this way: when you see a man with power, you see a man. The problem on “the woman’s side” is that she feels there is no one to represent her. That’s one kind of problem. On the other hand, what men see when they look at a man with power is someone pretending to represent them, but what’s actually going on is that the man-spectator identifies all the qualities he has that don’t match up to the ‘ideal’ ones being marketed, and sees that gap I spoke of earlier and really struggles with what he needs to do to fill it. So here we go, here is a problem for which a solution must be found. Feminism shouldn’t be about antagonism between men and women, but unfortunately that’s how things have evolved and certain subsets of women are playing dodgeball with certain subsets of men. Men aren’t just thrown into the world as babies with a hunger for domination - those are learned behaviours, just as women with questionable morals are taught too. But of course a lot of men feel they need to keep quiet because this privilege is their birthright and because they’re men they’ve forfeited any shot at an opinion! At least that’s how it appears to me.

I’ve encountered all manner of people in my life, and let me reiterate something that I think we’ve heard lots. No matter what political orientation a person has, no matter how “cool” they are, to decide if they’re worth having around you must look at the way they treat people, because that’ll illuminate what they really think life should be made of. I’ve met people who consider themselves “radical social justice warriors” and “progressive”, but they’re rude, unkind, and worst of all, they lack humility. Many of them are filled with hate too. And while it is obvious that we need to recalibrate ourselves socially (hence this post), oppression comes in forms that many progressives are totally oblivious to, often because they are “worldly” individuals who come from middle-class backgrounds.

Oppression is not just about the colour of someone’s skin or sexuality. For crying out loud, a person who is too tall or too short can technically be oppressed too, if they find themselves in a situation that wasn’t constructed with their literal point of view in mind! I would define oppression as “a relationship between a person and their environment, whereby the environment is constructed in such a way that does not allow for the free and comfortable movement and expression of that individual.” So oppression isn’t static, and if we were to continue thinking of it as static, we’d still be running into problems trying to figure out what the hell to do about it.

Now, you may be asking why I’m talking about radical politics in a post that is focused on relationships. I’ve been around people who were socially disenfranchised. Not since I got ‘woke’, but when I was a child. There’s nothing less motivating or less empowering than the feeling that no one listens to your voice and you haven’t got anyone to translate for you, or to amplify your voice through a friggin’ megaphone. The people in those positions are usually poor, but they’re still trying to live their lives with the goal to at least sometimes feel happy. If that means shopping at big bad Walmart, then so be it. There is no “organizational”, or mobilizing potential there. It is by virtue of that fact that they continue to be in the positions they are in! They have few friends. They are avoided. They are forgotten. You don’t act like a good person because if you don’t you’re going to Hell. You act like a good person because you can’t stand the thought of someone else’s loneliness, pain, and the thought that real love might be completely absent from their lives. And to think that you have caused another’s pain, that is hell in itself. Sometimes I think about those people and I get sad, but what comforts me is the beatitude, “The meek will inherit the Earth.” That one always stuck with me.

Another thing. I’ve come into contact with people who have anarchistic sentiments, and frankly I sympathize with them. They do see how messed up this world has become and some feel desperate enough that they think we’d all be in a better position if we didn’t have capitalism’s puppets signing on the dotted lines. However, I don’t think it’s practical to raze the organizational components of society to the ground. Not only because the sheer amount of infrastructure we’ve built, but because things are so convoluted that people would enter a state of psychological shock! And while some shock is good, too much is debilitating. So with that understanding in mind, any criticisms I have, I offer from a dialectical perspective.

Karl Marx kind of used dialectics in his theories, and what the word basically means is that you’ve got something called a ‘thesis’ and something called an ‘antithesis’, with the antithesis usually being a response to the thesis, and they are always in opposition in some way. If you get lucky, you can meld the two together to generate a ‘synthesis’. This process can go on indefinitely, but the premise is that you can use the tools you’ve already got (and we have MANY, both technological and conceptual) to create something new... and possibly something better. People are angry all over the place (obviously - look how long this post is) and for good reason, but we really need to rethink how we channel that anger. I believe we all agree in one way though: just cut the shit.

Evil is a supernatural thing that preys on you and intentionally toys with the way you see yourself, and the way you see other people. It performs a rape of the soul. It creeps so slyly it can literally be staring you in the face and you don’t even notice it. It’s not like the ‘bad guys’ you see in Hollywood, where it’s blatant about its evilness. What’s so shockingly messed up about it is that it can totally disorient you. It sends you spiralling, shoves you into insanity, makes you distrustful, suspicious. It isolates you. It can cause you to value things you shouldn’t, and it devalues what’s already good.

I know, because it’s happened to me.

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 7 years ago

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On the issue of Spider-Man’s guilt

Essentially Stan Lee overexagerated it for two reasons

a) The character was young and thus would naturally exaggerate that sense of angst and guilt although if you actually look at Stan’s run Peter doesn’t bang on about guilt nearly as much as you might, think especially compared to say Slott’s run (where you get bullshit like this)

b) It was written by 1960s Stan Lee who generally speaking exaggerated ALL of the emotions with his characters simply because he and his crew had tapped into the idea of superhumans with human emotions and consequently overmilked those emotions for all they were worth most of the time

Consequently other writers who held up Stan’s run as sacred followed in his lead and many of them didn’t bother to adjust the degree of Peter’s guilt and emotions because they were trying to replicate Stan’s stuff despite Peter’s maturity and the changing writing standards of consequent decades making that portrayal illogical.

However (from an in-universe POV) when you REALLY think about Peter’s character the assertion that he has like crippling guilt issues that he needs like major herepy to address or he’s stunted in his growth as evidenced by those feelings of guilt (because they look immature) doesn’t quite add up.

First of all...his Dad died when he was 15 years old due to a situation that Peter could have prevented but didn’t due to selfishness and arrogance.

it didn’t help that his Dad and his now widowed mother were essentially saints who were the best parents of all time to him and he’d contributed to the death of one of them and as ramifications of that whilst emotionally scarred the other, threw her into financial straits, increased her levels of stress and all that shit helped put her already dodgy health into a less stable state. A state that grew so serious that he gave her a blood transfusion only for that cure to wind up being worse than the disease as it literally gave her radiation poisoning and nearly killed her.

And did I mention they were both sweet old people who probably would’ve retired much earlier had they not had to raise him.

THEN in later life he accidentally kills his girlfriend who was in an extremely life threatening situation specifically due to her association with him.

This isn’t even addressing all the other times people in his life have been endangered or sometimes harmed due to their association with him.

And all thisstuff happened to him from age 15 onwards.

Bearing all that in mind is it any WONDER Peter has a tendency to blame himself for things, even things that aren’t strictly speaking his fault?

Is that really teenage angst and immaturity he never grew out of or is it actually a the perfectly natural mindset of someone who’s lived these particular life experiences?

That being said in all honesty the degree to which Spidey’s angst and guilt are played p fluctuates between writers and stories, sometimes to the point where he’s portrayed with an uncharacteristic LACK of guilt.

If you follow his character leading up to say just before the Mackie/Byrne reboot in 1998/1999 there was actually a relatively linear progression for his character where the guilt and tendency t blame himself was still there but it was handled with greater maturity and wasn’t coming across as (at face value) ‘juvenile’ as in earlier stories.

But it goes beyond that because if you think about it...how guilt ridden is Spider-Man REALLY?

We know that for all the times he’s had a few nightmares it’s not like he rarely gets a good night’s sleep (Spidey needs less than the full 8 hours of most people due to his super powers, but nevertheless he’s hardly walking around tired out most of the time).

Despite the instances where associating with him has endangered the people in his life he still maintains those interpersonal relationships.

Despite even Gwen’s death he continued to date after she died and never even questioned doing that in regards to endangering those women’s lives, even when early in his relationship with MJ (the first relationship he had after Gwen died) Ms Watson was hospitalized due to an explosion meant for Peter as HIS apartment.

Hell there have even been instances where peter has allowed criminals to escape for one reason or another. Most of the time you can justify it but on the occasions where he’s ruminated and felt guilty about this after the fact he’s never seemed AS guilt ridden as you’d naturally think given his origin story.

Can this be accounted for by simple human nature? That depending upon what side of the bed we got out on or what we went through the day before or what we have planned for tomorrow the degree to which we feel things and act upon situations can vary even when presented with similar stimuli?

Sure...but not to this extent. Again...Gwen dies and on panel we never see peter question if it’s right for him to date another woman and thereby risk a repeat of what happened to Gwen?

In fact if Peter had really been living with a chronic guilt complex the likes of which would require major therepy because it’d stunted his growth really he should consistently be way more guilty than we usually see him to be, not just guilty in the instances established on panel. It should be like an almost day-to-day default setting for him.

With all that in mind I put this little explanation to you.

Peter has issues with guilt but not the kind which really require major therepy, or at least not much therepy.

Its not that deep down he HONESTLY blames himself for all the things we see him blaming himself for or carries the burden of guilt for those things around with him constantly.

That’s true of some major things like Gwen andUncle Ben’s deaths, but most of the time, whether it’s not making it to a burning building in time or blaming himself for a super villain just existing, Peter’s guilt is more of a kneejerk emotional reaction he adopts out of habit and/or possibly to give himself a sense of control of the situation.

And it doesn’t last.

Oh, he might walk around feeling bad for awhile (and the milage on how long could vary) but deep down he knows those things aren’t really his fault and that given time he’ll get over it and move on, maybe even forget it outright.

That’s actually why MJ is important.

Sometimes when Peter is genuinely internalizing his guilt she can help him move past it and get closure on it.

At other times she can just verbally slap some sense into him so he moves past the kneejerk guilt stage more quickly which is both healthier and allows him to focus on more important things, consequently positively impacting his life.

She provides a balance and in her own way a form of therapy.

It helps she studied psychology too.

P.S. the thing about Peter dating again after Gwen died and not concerning himself with the risks I think can be explained by two things

a) Peter NEEDED that emotional connection at the time to help him stay sane and stable. He needs that of all his interpersonal relationships and pursuing romanctic fulfillment is an important part of that (even if it’s unbelievable he’d keep it up following the loss of MJ post-OMD)

b) His guilt stems less from the mere fact he had a relationship with Gwen and more from the fact that it was his webline that killed her. Deep down he knows he wasn’t immoral or to blame for dating Gwen or anybody else because he knows he’s entitled to live his own life. Gwen’s own father did just that. He was a respected police captain, someone with enough clout and influence that criminals had axes to grind with him and the Kingpin sought him out as an asset.

The latter situation (which had nada to to with Peter) resulted in Gwen’s life being endangered due to her association with her own father. And between his wealth, criminal connections and public image the Kingpin is actually a lot MORE dangerous than say a lone super powered lunatic like Doc Ock (at least as far as if he’s out to get you) because he can subtly attack you from all angles and you’d never see him coming. And you couldn’t get the police to protect you or even slow him down because he can BUY the police. Hell he can HIRE dudes like Doc Ock to off you or your family if he really wants to.

Peter is aware of that so if an old policeman with a public ID, no super powers and generally more age and wisedom than him saw fit to have a family and a life of his own then Peter probably felt that it was okay for him to do the same, despite him bleeting about it at certain points.

P.P.S. Mary Jane in Soul of the Hunter once said peter has got guilt issues and my fav DeMatteis wrote that. With respect I’m gonna explain that one away as MJ being off her game and tired because...that’s not really true and DeMatteis, though I adore his work, has always ridden the guilt train a bit too much even going so far as to say peter has inherent guilt issues because when he was like 3 years old he blamed his parents’ deaths on himself. This is both unrealistic and also goes against core philosophies underpinning Spider-Man...it was cool in its execution though.

#J.M. DeMatteis #mjwatsonedit #MJ Watson #mary jane watson #Mary Jane Watson Parker #Gwen Stacy #Spider-man #Peter Parker #Stan Lee #Kingpin #George Stacy

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jamisonpro · 7 years ago

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Master of None: Frank Examinations of Modern Society and Subversion of Expectations

I really love Aziz Ansari’s Netflix series, Master of None. There are few “comedies” that have been so effective in representing modern society honestly and comedically, while still being sensitive. The characters are consistent, genuine, and imperfect, investing you in their arcs and their relationships.

Season 2 only served to expand on the genius of Season 1. From an amazing first episode that was a grand homage to De Sica’s Bicycle Thieves, to an ending that was chillingly similar to The Graduate, Master of None’s second season pulled me and held me for its all too short ten episode run.

I can’t help but talk about things in details so spoilers.

There are several recurring characteristics that impressed me greatly. The first was the continued theme of subverting expectations based on tropes built up by decades of repetitive television writing. We expect a character from the first episode to inevitably reappear, we are even teased by an off handed comment from a side character, but they never do reenter Dev’s life. Much like 500 Days of Summer, Master of None continuously shows the danger of expecting and committing to some stereotypical idea and structure of love. To strip down what makes it individual in every case, and instead try to force love into some played out cliche, that turns an individual into the focal point of some theatrical plot that results in two characters falling in love and being together forever.

Master of None addresses the quirky details of what its like to be in a relationship as a young deaf woman, to be a young, lesbian, black woman and the dynamics with her family, and how as a man, to empathize with women and their inherently different experiences, to name a few examples. Instead of playing into stereotypes and laughing at things because of the way that they are (ahem, Big Bang Theory), Master of None challenges our conventional and romanticized view of life and relationships. Millennials who are first or second generation can kind of be dicks for ignoring the sacrifices their parents/grandparents made so that they could live comfortable, American lives. A side character gets an entire episode, where he and Dev go to a wedding, a wedding for a woman this particular side character never quite got over -- there’s no dramatic declaration of love or anything either, he’s there, he wrestles with his emotions, but he works through it, sans cliche wedding interruption.

It’s hard to put into words how deeply refreshing all of these episode ideas are, but to me, what is most frustrating but also most appealing about the show is the imperfect protagonist, Dev. Obviously he’s played by Aziz, and thinks much like Aziz has portrayed himself in his comedy shows. Dev seems like a lot of internal reflection for Aziz, an exaggerated way of exploring his own flaws. And man, is Dev flawed. Yes, he’s lovable, funny, quirky, and caring -- but he’s also often deeply selfish and narcissistic. Dev acts as though the world is working against him, but to the audience it should be clear that he’s responsible for a lot of what goes wrong in the personal relationships we follow most closely. He focuses on his own feelings and desires and forces those he loves out of potentially live changing, positive events because he happens to have particularly strong feelings in that moment. It’s not quite bullying, but he does have a tendency to hold people emotionally hostage, playing the victim if things don’t go his way.

It’s charming in the way Aziz plays Dev like a big, slightly whiny kid, but it takes on a new quality when you begin to connect the dots and see how it drags in others and potentially pulls their lives out of whack. Dev is willing to keep those he’s in love with from reaching their full potential, or continuing on to a relatively happy life if it means he can feel as though he’s the main character in some sort of James Marsden/Patrick Dempsey cheesey romance where he has to get the girl, and she just needs to realize how perfect and fairy tale-esque their lives will be if they could just be together. It reveals a sort of toxic immaturity that Dev displays, but the viewer is conflicted because some part of us still want to see that Hollywood conclusion, even though we know this isn’t that kind of show. This makes it even more painful as we see Dev pushing his loved ones more and more, trying to fit round pegs into square hoies, where we know things can’t possibly work out neatly and tidily in a show that depicts life and the world so realistically otherwise. So no one is really surprised when things don’t work out, or do “work out” but there’s that sense of, “Oh shit, what now?” that The Graduate so effectively conveys with its conclusion. Dev isn’t just imperfect, he’s kind of a shitty romantic partner. He empathizes well with other people platonically, but as soon as romance gets involved, he becomes totally self-absorbed and focused on his archetypal idea of “love”.

That’s not to say there aren’t beautiful, relatable, genuine depictions of love and human connection. This show has made me feel unlike almost any other -- it hits you somewhere deep in the emotions. It’s so realistic you feel as though you’re watching these events play out between people you really know, and more than anything you want to contact them and tell them how your perspective is revealing how big a mistake they’re making. Dev’s not doing anything with malicious intent, he's a passionate guy who doesn’t know how to reign in his feelings for the sake of those he loves.

It’s a fascinating and compelling performance that Aziz deserves all the praise and awards for. However, it also seems like its totally emotionally and mentally draining for Aziz, which is also why it seems there won’t be a season three anytime soon. If nothing else, he’s created two totally amazing, nigh perfect, seasons of television.

#master of none #netflix #aziz ansari #writing #television #tv

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networkingdefinition · 5 years ago

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Insects Quotes

Official Website: Insects Quotes

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• “Are you okay?” he says, still looking at me, and I feel my smile slip, fade, and the silence that falls over us then is so total I can’t hear anything, not the rush-hiss of my heart pounding in my chest, not the sounds all around us; insects, wind, and the distant clatter of others’ lives in houses built close but not too close because when we look out our windows we all like to pretend that everything we see is ours. But Ryan is not mine. – Elizabeth Scott • a country encapsulates our childhood and those lanes, byres, fields, flowers, insects, suns, moons and stars are forever reoccurring. – Edna O’Brien • A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. – Samuel Johnson • A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. – Robert A. Heinlein • A net set up to catch fish may snare a duck; a mantis hunting an insect may itself be set upon by a sparrow. Machinations are hidden within machinations; changes arise beyond changes. So how can wit and cleverness be relied upon? – Zicheng Hong • A refuge is supposed to prevent what? The genes from flowing out of sight? This refuge idea won’t stop insects from moving across boundaries. That’s absurd. – Jeremy Rifkin • A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator’s bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures. – Ambrose Bierce • A standard saying among fly fishermen is that trout spend anywhere from 80 to 90 percent of their time feeding below the water’s surface on the immature forms of aquatic insects. Some anglers are even more precise, but whatever the exact percentage , it’s safe to say that to fully appreciate any tailwater fishery you will have to learn the fine art of nymphing. – Ed Engle • A stray fact: insects are not drawn to candle flames, they are drawn to the light on the far side of the flame, they go into the flame and sizzle to nothingness because they’re so eager to get to the light on the other side. – Michael Cunningham • A tree is a thought, an obstruction stopping the flow of wind and light, trapping water, housing insects, birds, and animals, and breathing in and out. How treelike the human, how human the tree. – Gretel Ehrlich • A worm tells summer better than the clock, The slug’s a living calendar of days; What shall it tell me if a timeless insect Says the world wears away? – Dylan Thomas • Ah, Meese has brought us her finest goblets! A moment, whilst Kruppe sweeps out cobwebs, insect husks and other assorted proofs of said goblets’ treasured value. – Steven Erikson • All of nature talks to me – if I could just figure out what it’s saying – trees are swinging in the breeze. They’re talking to me. Insects are rubbing their legs together. They’re all talking. They’re talking to me. – Laurie Anderson • Although you should respect venomous snakes and approach them with caution, most snakes you encounter in an urban environment are harmless and beneficial because they eat insects, mice and other rodents. – Robert Pierce • An innocent bird is not innocent from the insect’s point of view! Only man can attain the rank of innocence through becoming a peaceful vegetarian! – Mehmet Murat Ildan • An insect is more complex than a star..and is a far greater challenge to understand. – Martin Rees • Around the steel no tortur’d worm shall twine, No blood of living insect stain my line; Let me, less cruel, cast the feather’d hook, With pliant rod athwart the pebbled brook, Silent along the mazy margin stray, And with the fur-wrought fly delude the prey. – John Gay • As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. – Franz Kafka • At seventy-three I learned a little about the real structure of animals, plants, birds, fishes and insects. Consequently when I am eighty I’ll have made more progress. At ninety I’ll have penetrated the mystery of things. At a hundred I shall have reached something marvellous, but when I am a hundred and ten everything I do, the smallest dot, will be alive. – Hokusai

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Insect', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_insect').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_insect img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Be able to recognize the dangerous snakes, spiders, insects, and plants that live in your area of the country.- Marilyn vos Savant • Beasts, birds, and insects, even to the minutest and meanest of their kind, act with the unerring providence of instinct; man, the while, who possesses a higher faculty, abuses it, and therefore goes blundering on. – Robert Southey • Because there is something helpless and weak and innocent – something like an infant – deep inside us all that really suffers in ways we would never permit an insect to suffer. – Jack Abbott • Ben: “Gorog’s no assassin! She’s my best friend.” Mara: “She’s an insect, Ben.” Ben: “So? Your best friend’s a lizard.” Mara: “Don’t be ridiculous. Aunt Leia is my best friend.” Ben: “Doesn’t count. She’s family. Saba is a lizard.” Mara: “Okay, maybe my best friend’s a lizard. – Troy Denning • Better to be an animal than a man, an insect than an animal, a plant than an insect, and so on. Salvation? Whatever diminishes the kingdom of consciousness and compromises its supremacy. – Emile M. Cioran • Bird taxonomy is a difficult field because of the severe anatomical constraints imposed by flight. There are only so many ways to design a bird capable, say, of catching insects in mid-air, with the result that birds of similar habitats tend to have very similar anatomies, whatever their ancestry. For example, American vultures look and behave much like Old World vultures, but biologists have come to realize that the former are related to storks, the latter to hawks, and that their resemblances result from their common lifestyle. – Jared Diamond • By ‘nationalism’ I mean first of all the habit of assuming that human beings can be classified like insects and that whole blocks of millions and tens of millions of people can be confidently labeled ‘good’ or ‘bad’…By ‘patriotism’ I mean devotion to a particular place and a particular way of life, which one believes to be best in the world but has no wish to force on other people. Patriotism is of its nature defensive, both militarily and culturally. Nationalism, on the other hand, is inseparable from the desire for power. – George Orwell • By the River Piedra I sat down and wept. There is a legend that everything that falls into the waters of this river — leaves, insects, the feathers of birds — is transformed into the rocks that make the riverbed. If only I could tear out my heart and hurl it into the current, then my pain and longing would be over, and I could finally forget. – Paulo Coelho • Cats are like insects. They should be left outside to clean up the garbage. – Michael Mewshaw • Compassion is an emotion of which we ought never to be ashamed. Graceful, particularly in youth, is the tear of sympathy, and the heart that melts at the tale of woe. We should not permit ease and indulgence to contract our affections, and wrap us up in a selfish enjoyment; but we should accustom ourselves to think of the distresses of human, life, of the solitary cottage; the dying parent, and the weeping orphan. Nor ought we ever to sport with pain and distress in any of our amusements, or treat even the meanest insect with wanton cruelty. – Hugh Blair • Each moss, Each shell, each drawling insect, holds a rank Important in the plan of Him who fram’d This scale of beings; holds a rack which, lost Would break the chain, and leave behind a gap Which Nature’s self would rue. – Benjamin Stillingfleet • Each particle of matter is an immensity, each leaf a world, each insect an inexplicable compendium. – Johann Kaspar Lavater • English is full of booby traps for the unwary foreigner. Any language where the unassuming word fly signifies an annoying insect, a means of travel, and a critical part of a gentleman’s apparel is clearly asking to be mangled. – Bill Bryson • Even within the most beautiful landscape, in the trees, under the leaves the insects are eating each other; violence is a part of life. – Francis Bacon • Every blade of grass, every insect, ant, and golden bee, all so amazingly know their path, though they have not intelligence, they bear witness to the mystery of God and continually accomplish it themselves. – Fyodor Dostoevsky • Every living being on earth loves life above all else. The smallest insect, whose life lasts only an instant, tries to escape from any danger in order to live a moment longer. And the desire to live is most developed in man. – Hazrat Inayat Khan • Every man has the basis of good. Not only human beings, you can find it among animals and insects, for instance, when we treat a dog or horse lovingly. – Dalai Lama • Everything is a hero: A lighthouse which gives light to us; weeds that provide shelter to little insects; a water drop which quenches a thirsty ant! Everything that helps us to live is a hero! • Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect, as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper. – Albert Einstein • Everything is important. To the smallest insect, even the mouldering tree, the deepest stone in the drift. – Marlene van Niekerk • For us, a pretty bird is a pretty bird; for an insect, pretty bird is an ugly enemy! – Mehmet Murat Ildan • From inanimate object, to microorganism, to plant, to insect, to animal, to human, there is an evolving level of intelligence. – Bryan Kest • From my earliest memories I was fascinated by animals. I would explore my backyard for insects and gaze at anthills until my elbows became sore. When I was 8, my mother bought me a book of North American birds and I’ve been keen on birdwatching since. – Jonathan Balcombe • Garden: One of a vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charity-minded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for insects, birds and animals. – Henry Beard • Happy insect! what can be In happiness compared to thee? Fed with nourishment divine, The dewy morning’s gentle wine! Nature waits upon thee still, And thy verdant cup does fill; ‘Tis fill’d wherever thou dost tread, Nature’s self’s thy Ganymede. – Abraham Cowley • Herein lies our problem. If we level that much land to grow rice and whatever, then no other animal could live there except for some insect pest species. Which is very unfortunate. – Steve Irwin • Historical Re-creation, he thought glumly, as they picked their way across, under, over or through the boulders and insect-buzzing heaps of splintered timber, with streamlets running everywhere. Only we do it with people dressing up and running around with blunt weapons, and people selling hot dogs, and the girls all miserable because they can only dress up as wenches, wenching being the only job available to women in the olden days. – Terry Pratchett • How describe the delicate thing that happens when a brilliant insect alights on a flower? Words, with their weight, fall upon the picture like birds of prey. – Jules Renard • How poor, how rich, how abject, how august, how complicate, how wonderful is man! Distinguished link in being’s endless chain! Midway from nothing to the Deity! Dim miniature of greatness absolute! An heir of glory! A frail child of dust! Helpless immortal! Insect infinite! A worm! A God! – Edward Young • How would you like to have a thousand brilliantly colored cliff swallows keeping house in the eaves of your barn, and gobbling up insects over your farm at the rate of 100,000 per day? There are many Wisconsin farmsteads where such a swallow-show is a distinct possibility. – Aldo Leopold • Human beings ought not to draw in their antennae at every ungentle touch, like supersensitive insects. – E. T. A. Hoffmann • I always liked the idea that America is a big facade. We are all insects crawling across on the shiny hood of a Cadillac. We’re all looking at the wrapping. But we won’t tear the wrapping to see what lies beneath. – Tom Waits • I craved your warmth. I hugged myself, rubbing my fingers up and down. I guess people are like insects sometimes, drawn to heat, A kind of infra-red longing. – Lucy Christopher • I do not see why men sheould be so proud insects have the more ancient lineage according to the scientists insects were insects when man was only a burbling whatisit. – Don Marquis • I fear no man, no woman; flower does not fear bird, insect nor adder. – Hilda Doolittle • I got a little studio in Chicago and practiced. I realized I had to earn some money. So I went to work for an advertising agency where my job was mostly drawing insects for a company that sold an insecticide spray. – Claes Oldenburg • I had that trapped feeling, like some sort of a poor insect that you’ve put inside a downturned glass, and it tries to climb up the sides, and it can’t, and it can’t, and it can’t. – Cornell Woolrich • I hate banana bread. It’s too suspicious-looking. I always thought the cooked banana looked like insect legs. – Elizabeth Berg • I hated the words. Each one was like a big live insect in my mouth. – Glen Duncan • I have always found thick woods a little intimidating, for they are so secret and enclosed. You may seem alone but you are not, for there are always eyes watching you. All the wildlife of the woods, the insects, birds, and animals, are well aware of your presence no matter how softly you may tread, and they follow your every move although you cannot see them. – Thalassa Cruso • I listen to the summer symphony outside my window. Truthfully, it’s not a symphony at all. There’s no tune, no melody, only the same notes over and over. Chirps and tweets and trills and burples. It’s as if the insect orchestra is forever tuning its instruments, forever waiting for the maestro to tap his baton and bring them to order. I, for one, hope the maestro never comes. I love the music mess of it. – Jerry Spinelli • I love insects. They are amazing. – Andrea Arnold • I never kill insects. If I see ants or spiders in the room, I pick them up and take them outside. Karma is everything. – Holly Valance • I personally feel that parachute files give a more realistic impression of an insect to the fish that views the fly, since the hackles are in the same position as the insect’s legs, and when tied with brightly colored hackles, these flies are easier to see on the float. A final advantage is that in rough water, a parachute-hackled dry fly will float longer and better than a conventional one – Lefty Kreh • I tell you solemnly, that I have many times tried to become an insect. But I was not equal even to that. I swear, gentlemen, that to be too conscious is an illness — a real thorough-going illness. – Fyodor Dostoevsky • I think it’s so archaic that cosmetic companies are still using animal by-products and insects in their products! It’s 2016, why is anyone still doing that? – Jeffree Star • I think that the leaf of a tree, the meanest insect on which we trample, are in themselves arguments more conclusive than any which can be adduced that some vast intellect animates Infinity. – Percy Bysshe Shelley • I think we are just insects, we live a bit and then die and that’s the lot. There’s no mercy in things. There’s not even a Great Beyond. There’s nothing. – John Fowles • I thought the earth remembered me, she took me back so tenderly, arranging her dark skirts, her pockets full of lichens and seeds. I slept as never before, a stone on the river bed, nothing between me and the white fire of the stars but my thoughts, and they floated light as moths among the branches of the perfect trees. All night I heard the small kingdoms breathing around me, the insects, and the birds who do their work in the darkness. All night I rose and fell, as if in water, grappling with a luminous doom. By morning I had vanished at least a dozen times into something better. – Mary Oliver • I wanted to know the name of every stone and flower and insect and bird and beast. I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life – but there was no one to tell me. – George Washington Carver • I was really interested in collecting insects. – Satoshi Tajiri • If all insects disappeared, all life on earth would perish. If all humans disappeared, all life on earth would flourish. – Jonas Salk • If all mankind were to disappear, the world would regenerate back to the rich state of equilibrium that existed ten thousand years ago. If insects were to vanish, the environment would collapse into chaos. – E. O. Wilson • If all the insects were to disappear from the earth, within 50 years all life on earth would end. If all human beings disappeared from the earth, within 50 years all forms of life would flourish. – Jonas Salk • If we go on the way we have, the fault is our greed and if we are not willing to change, we will disappear from the face of the globe, to be replaced by the insect. – Jacques Yves Cousteau • If we were to wipe out insects alone on this planet, the rest of life and humanity with it would mostly disappear from the land. Within a few months. – E. O. Wilson • If you had an alien race that looked like insects, then they would build robots to look like themselves, not to look like people. – Kevin J. Anderson • If you see a thing that looks like a cross between a flying lobster and the figure of Abraxas on a Gnostic gem, do not pay it the least attention, never mind where it is; just keep quiet and hope it will go away – for that’s your best chance; you have none in a stand-up fight with a good thorough-going African insect. – Mary Kingsley • If you want to study one of these strange organisms, you had better have a good justification. It’s not good to say I want to study gene organisation in some obscure insect that no one’s ever heard about. – Thomas Cech • I’m always very interested in breeding. Raising cacti is breeding. My lotus plant collection is breeding. The insects are breeding. – Takashi Murakami • I’m writing a film called ‘Bug.’ It’s an original script, and it’s not about killer insects. It’s a thriller set in a high school. The bug of the title refers to a surveillance device. – Wes Craven • In handling a stinging insect, move very slowly. – Robert A. Heinlein • In my grandparents’ time, it was believed that spirits existed everywhere – in trees, rivers, insects, wells, anything. My generation does not believe this, but I like the idea that we should all treasure everything because spirits might exist there, and we should treasure everything because there is a kind of life to everything. – Hayao Miyazaki • In my life outdoors, I’ve observed that animals of almost any variety will stand in a windy place rather than in a protected, windless area infested with biting insects. They would rather be annoyed by the wind than bitten. – Tim Cahill • In my youth, I spent my time investigating insects. – Maria Sibylla Merian • In summer the empire of insects spreads. – Adam Zagajewski • In the future, I mean to be a fine streamside entomologist. I’m going to start on that when I am much too old to do any of the two thousand things I can think of that are more fun than screening insects in cold running water – Thomas McGuane • In the vast, and the minute, we see The unambiguous footsteps of the God, Who gives its lustre to an insect’s wing And wheels His throne upon the rolling worlds. – William Cowper • In time they sank and decayed, and nothing is left of them except an occasional impression in stones, in stones now found in deserts and on high mountain peaks. Birdless forests block the sun in uninhabited lands. Insects swirl in the air. And then, in a majestic, bloodthirsty, and mighty heave, the spinal columns of the vertebrates rise as monstrous lizards and fabulous creatures; dragons flinging their fearful bellows up to a steaming sky… Slowly they become birds, birds as light as undreamt dreams. The searing roars become birdsong, whimpering flutes on warm nights. – Erik Fosnes Hansen • Insect life was so loud that when you parked the car and got out it sounded as if you had suddenly tuned into a radio frequency from another planet. – David Samuels • Insect politics, indifferent universe. Bang your head against the wall, but apathy is worse. – Don Henley • Insect resistance to a pesticide was first reported in 1947 for the Housefly (Musca domestica) with respect to DDT. Since then resistance to one or more pesticides has been reported in at least 225 species of insects and other arthropods. The genetic variants required for resistance to the most diverse kinds of pesticides were apparently present in every one of the populations exposed to these man-made compounds. – Francisco J. Ayala • Insects are my secret fear. That’s what terrifies me more than anything – insects. – Michael O’Donoghue • Insects are not only cold-blooded, and green- and yellow-blooded, but are also cased in a clacking horn. They have rigid eyes and brains strung down their backs. But they make up the bulk of our comrades-at-life, so I look to them for a glimmer of companionship. – Annie Dillard • Insects are what neurosis would sound like, if neurosis could make a noise with its nose. – Martin Amis • Insects have their own point of view about civilization a man thinks he amounts to a great deal but to a flea or a mosquito a human being is merely something good to eat. – Don Marquis • Insects leave (Madagascar periwinkle) Catharanthus roseus out of their diets. So, for that matter, do deer. The reason is that the plants are loaded with alkaloids so potent that they are the source of vincristine and vinblastine. These are drugs important in routines of chemotherapy for treating Hodgkin’s disease and certain forms of leukemia. – Allen Lacy • Iris all hues, roses, and jessamine Reared high their flourished heads between, and wrought Mosaic; underfoot the violet, Crocus, and hyacinth with rich inlay Broidered the ground, more coloured than with stone Of costliest emblem: other creature here Beast, bird, insect, or worm durst enter none; Such was their awe of man. – John Milton • Is it reasonable to suppose that we can apply a broad-spectrum insecticide to kill the burrowing larval stages of a crop-destroying insect … without also killing the ‘good’ insects whose function may be the essential one of breaking down organic matter and maintaining healthy soil? – Rachel Carson • Is not disease the rule of existence? There is not a lily pad floating on the river but has been riddled by insects. Almost every shrub and tree has its gall, oftentimes esteemed its chief ornament and hardly to be distinguished from the fruit. If misery loves company, misery has company enough. Now, at midsummer, find me a perfect leaf or fruit. – Henry David Thoreau • It began as this desire to do this science fiction movie about perhaps one of the last insects left that nobody’s done anything on, which is the cockroach – and truly one of the most frightening insects. – Michael O’Donoghue • It skims in through the eye, and by means of the utterly delicate retina hurls shadows like insect legs inward for translation. Then an immense space opens up in silence and an endlessly fecund sub-universe the writer descends, and asks the reader to descend after him, not merely to gain instructions but also to experience delight, the delight of mind freed from matter and exultant in the strength it has stolen from matter. – John Updike • It was the hour when gauze-winged insects are born that only live for a day. – Lord Dunsany • It’s time to stop pretending I’m ok with things I’m not ok with like all insects and Foster the People. – Greg Behrendt • It’s very easy to make insects move. Because they do move mechanically without the rippling of flesh as you mentioned. They move more like real tinker toys and you can make models of them quite easily. – Michael O’Donoghue • I’ve always gone with Kafka’s model of establishing the world from the first line, as in Kafka’s famous line from Metamorphosis, “Gregor Samsa woke up from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed into a gigantic insect” (or beetle or cockroach, depending on the translation). I have to have that first line before I can go further. – Laurie Foos • I’ve become a much more serious young insect. – Andrew Denton • I’ve come to realize that the mark is the primal gesture, the internal connection of the caveman to the cosmos; an impossibility similar to an impulse in an insect’s nervous system that it could somehow reduce to dust a steel beam by endlessly crawling over it. – Joel-Peter Witkin • Large flocks of butterflies, all kinds of happy insects, seem to be in a perfect fever of joy and sportive gladness. – John Muir • Life is hard for insects. And don’t think mice are having any fun either. – Woody Allen • Little soldier, little insect You know war it has no heart It will kill you in the sunshine Or happily in the the dark Where kindness is a card game Or a bent up cigarette In the trenches, in the hard rain With a bullet and a bet. – Conor Oberst • Lobsters displays all three of the classic biological characteristics of an insect, namely: 1. It has way more legs than necessary. 2. There is no way you would ever pet it. 3. It does not respond to simple commands such as “Here, boy!” – Dave Barry • Love has its own instinct, finding the way to the heart, as the feeblest insect finds the way to its flower, with a will which nothing can dismay nor turn aside. – Honore de Balzac • Make them free, and they will quickly become wise and virtous, as men become more so; for the improvement must be mutual, or the injustice which one half of the human race are obliged to submit to, retorting on their oppressors, the virtue of men will be worm-eaten by the insect whom he keeps under his feet – Mary Wollstonecraft • Many of the earth’s habitats, animals, plants, insects and even micro-organisms that we know to be rare may not be known at all by future generations. We have the capability and the responsibility to act; we must do so before it is too late. – Dalai Lama • Men should stop fighting among themselves and start fighting insects. – Luther Burbank • My 10th Sonata is a sonata of insects. Insects are born from the sun… they are the sun’s kisses. – Alexander Scriabin • My painting is not violent, it’s life that is violent. Even within the most beautiful landscape, in the trees, under the leaves, the insects are eating each other; violence is a part of life. We are born with a scream; we come into life with a scream and maybe love is a mosquito net between the fear of living and the fear of death. – Francis Bacon • Nations! What are nations? Tartars! and Huns! and Chinamen! Like insects they swarm. The historian strives in vain to make them memorable. It is for want of a man that there are so many men. It is individuals that populate the world. – Henry David Thoreau • Natural selection certainly operates. It explains how bacteria will gain antibiotic resistance; it will explain how insects get insecticide resistance, but it doesn’t explain how you get bacteria or insects in the first place. – William A. Dembski • Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. – Henry David Thoreau • No insect hangs its nest on threads as frail as those which will sustain the weight of human vanity. – Edith Wharton • No one knows, incidentally, why Australia’s spiders are so extravagantly toxic; capturing small insects and injecting them with enough poison to drop a horse would appear to be the most literal case of overkill. Still, it does mean that everyone gives them lots of space. – Bill Bryson • No poetic phantasy but a biological reality, a fact: I am an entity like bird, insect, plant or sea-plant cell; I live; I am alive. – Hilda Doolittle • None of God’s Creatures absolutely consider’d are in their own Nature Contemptible; the meanest Fly, the poorest Insect has its Use and Vertue. – Mary Astell • Now summer is in flower and natures hum Is never silent round her sultry bloom Insects as small as dust are never done Wi’ glittering dance and reeling in the sun And green wood fly and blossom haunting bee Are never weary of their melody Round field hedge now flowers in full glory twine Large bindweed bells wild hop and streakd woodbine That lift athirst their slender throated flowers Agape for dew falls and for honey showers These round each bush in sweet disorder run And spread their wild hues to the sultry sun. – John Clare • Of all the systems of the body – neurological, cognitive, special, sensory – the cardiological system is the most sensitive and easily disturbed. The role of society must be to shelter these systems from infection and decay, or else the future of the human race is at stake. Like a summer fruit that is protected from insect invasion, bruising, and rot by the whole mechanism of modern farming; so must we protect the heart. – Lauren Oliver • Of what use, however, is a general certainty that an insect will not walk with his head hindmost, when what you need to know is the play of inward stimulus that sends him hither and thither in a network of possible paths? – George Eliot • One cannot overestimate the power of a good rancorous hatred on the part of the stupid. The stupid have so much more industry and energy to expend on hating. They build it up like coral insects. – Sylvia Townsend Warner • One night a friend lent me a book of short stories by Franz Kafka. I went back to the pension where I was staying and began to read The Metamorphosis. The first line almost knocked me off the bed. I was so surprised. The first line reads, “As Gregor Samsa awoke that morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. . . .” When I read the line I thought to myself that I didn’t know anyone was allowed to write things like that. If I had known, I would have started writing a long time ago. So I immediately started writing short stories. – Gabriel Garcia Marquez • One of the really remarkably beneficial aspects of genetic engineering is that much of the previous methodology for controlling pests and so forth is through chemicals that affect a very broad spectrum of insects, for example, or fungicides that control fungi. – Nina Fedoroff • Our treasure lies in the beehive of our knowledge. We are perpetually on the way thither, being by nature winged insects and honey gatherers of the mind. – Friedrich Nietzsche • People have this idea that nature dictates a sort of 1950s sitcom version of what males and females are like. That is just not the case in the insect world. – Marlene Zuk • Perfect hexagonal tubes in a packed array. Bees are hard-wired to lay them down, but how does an insect know enough geometry to lay down a precise hexagon? It doesn’t. It’s programmed to chew up wax and spit it out while turning on its axis, and that generates a circle. Put a bunch of bees on the same surface, chewing side-by-side, and the circles abut against each other – deform each other into hexagons, which just happen to be more efficient for close packing anyway. – Peter Watts • Plant consciousness, insect consciousness, fish consciousness, all are related by one permanent element, which we may call the religious element inherent in all life, even in a flea: the sense of wonder. That is our sixth sense, and it is the natural religious sense. – D. H. Lawrence • Politics is made up of two words: “Poli,” which is Greek for “many,” and “tics,” which are bloodsucking insects. – Gore Vidal • Primates need good nutrition, to begin with. Not only fruits and plants, but insects as well. – Richard Leakey • Say, will the falcon, stooping from above, Smit with her varying plumage, spare the dove? Admires the jay the insect’s gilded wings? Or hears the hawk when Philomela sings? – Alexander Pope • She was afraid of all that and so much more, but what terrified her most was inside of her, an insect of unnatural intelligence who’d been living in her brain her entire life, playing with it, clicking across it, wrenching loose its cables on a whim. – Dennis Lehane • Shrimp are the insects of the ocean. They’re bottom feeders. So they’re delicious, but they’re the bugs of the sea. – Baron Vaughn • Since I turned the fields back to their natural state, I can’t say I’ve had any really difficult problems with insects or disease. – Masanobu Fukuoka • So important are insects and other land-dwelling arthropods that if all were to disappear, humanity probably could not last more than a few months. – E. O. Wilson • So there you have it: Nature is a rotten mess. But that’s only the beginning. If you take your eyes off it for one second, it will kill you. Thorns, insects, fungus, worms, birds, reptiles, wild animals, raging rivers, bottomless ravines, dry deserts, snow, quicksand, tumbleweeds, sap, and mud. Rot, poison and death. That’s Nature.It’s a wonder you even step outside of your cabin, I said.My bravery exceeds my good sense, he said. – Lee Goldberg • So, when I say ‘match the hatch’, if the fish are taking the nymph, and you’re actually producing a replica of a flying insect, you’ll catch fresh air. – Rex Hunt • Sometimes human beings are very much like bees. Bees are fiercely protective of their hive, provided you are outside it. Once you’re in, the workers sort of assume that it must have been cleared by management and take no notice; various freeloading insects have evolved a mellifluous existence because of this very fact. Humans act the same way. – Neil Gaiman • Specialization is for insects. – Robert A. Heinlein • Specialization is for insects… The race of man? He’s a whole other creature. – Robert A. Heinlein • Spray a book with insect spray, drop it in a bag, add some mothballs and seal it. Put it in another bag and seal it. Another. The packages piled up on the floor, each a book sealed in four plastic envelopes. – Larry Niven • Stothard learned the art of combining colors by closely studying butterflies wings; he would often say that no one knew what he owed to these tiny insects. A burnt stick and a barn door served Wilkie in lieu of pencil and canvas. – Samuel Smiles • Suppose that insect wings developed primarily as thermoregulators and then were used for skimming and finally flying, evolving along the way. What would they be “for”? Or what is the skeleton “for”? For keeping one upright, protecting organs, storing calcium, making blood cells…? – Noam Chomsky • The air was calm and insects had not yet risen off the water, that crisp time of morning before the sun strikes, when it is still cool enough to work out solutions to sticky problems. – April Smith • The best gardener is a baby killer. Baby insects are much easier to kill than adults, and haven’t yet developed the big mouths and voracious appetite of the adolescent. – Janet Macunovich • The careful insect ‘midst his works I view, Now from the flowers exhaust the fragrant dew, With golden treasures load his little thighs, And steer his distant journey through the skies. – John Gay • The clearest window that ever was fashioned if it is barred by spiders’ webs, and hung over with carcasses of insects, so that the sunlight has forgotten to find its way through, of what use can it be? Now, the Church is God’s window; and if it is so obscured by errors that its light is darkness, how great is that darkness! – Henry Ward Beecher • The colours of insects and many smaller animals contribute to conceal them from the larger ones which prey upon them. Caterpillars which feed on leaves are generally green; and earth-worms the colour of the earth which they inhabit; butter-flies, which frequent flowers, are coloured like them; small birds which frequent hedges have greenish backs like the leaves, and light-coloured bellies like the sky, and are hence less visible to the hawk who passes under them or over them. – Erasmus Darwin • The ‘control of nature’ is a phrase conceived in arrogance, . . . when it was supposed that nature exists for the convenience of man . . . . It is our alarming misfortune that so primitive a science has armed itself with the most modern and terrible weapons, and that in turning them against the insects it has also turned them against the earth. – Rachel Carson • The darkness grew apace; a cold wind began to blow in freshening gusts from the east, and the showering white flakes in the air increased in number. From the edge of the sea came a ripple and whisper. Beyond these lifeless sounds the world was silent. Silent? It would be hard to convey the stillness of it. All the sounds of man, the bleating of sheep, the cries of birds, the hum of insects, the stir that makes the background of our lives – all that was over. – H. G. Wells • The deeper men go into life, the deeper is their conviction that this life is not all. It is an unfinished symphony. A day may round out an insect’s life, and a bird or a beast needs no tomorrow. Not so with him who knows that he is related to God and has felt the power of an endless life. – Henry Ward Beecher • The eye sees the physical body, other individuals, even insects, worms and things. It sees everything that is within its range. The body too is a thing that the eye sees, along with the rest. So, how can we conclude that the body is the I? – Sathya Sai Baba • The German passion for bureaucracy — for written and signal forms . . . to move about, to work, to exist — is like a steel pin pinning each French individual to a sheet of paper, the way an entomologist pins each specimen insect . . . – Janet Flanner • The heart should have fed upon the truth, as insects on a leaf, till it be tinged with the color, and show its food in every … minutest fiber. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge • The insect-youth are on the wing, Eager to taste the honied spring, And float amid the liquid noon! – Thomas Gray • The instinct of brutes and insects can be the effect of nothing else than the wisdom and skill of a powerful ever-living agent. – Isaac Newton • The jungle looked back at them with a vastness, a breathing moss-and-leaf silence, with a billion diamond and emerald insect eyes. – Ray Bradbury • The life of an uneducated man is as useless as the tail of a dog which neither covers its rear end, nor protects it from the bites of insects. – Chanakya • The mortal enemies of man are not his fellows of another continent or race; they are the aspects of the physical world which limit or challenge his control, the disease germs that attack him and his domesticated plants and animals, and the insects that carry many of these germs as well as working notable direct injury. This is not the age of man, however great his superiority in size and intelligence; it is literally the age of insects. – Warder Clyde Allee • The only clear thing is that we humans are the only species with the power to destroy the earth as we know it. The birds have no such power, nor do the insects, nor does any mammal. Yet if we have the capacity to destroy the earth, so, too, do we have the capacity to protect it. – Dalai Lama • The only sensible approach to disease and insect control, I think, is to grow sturdy crops in a healthy environment. – Masanobu Fukuoka • The Planet drifts to random insect doom. – William S. Burroughs • The poor dog, in life the firmest friend, The first to welcome, foremost to defend, Whose honest heart is still the master’s own, Who labours, fights, lives, breathes for him alone, Unhonour’d falls, unnoticed all his worth, Denied in heaven the soul he held on earth, While man, vain insect hopes to be forgiven, And claims himself a sole exclusive heaven. – Lord Byron • The positive evidence for Darwinism is confined to small-scale evolutionary changes like insects developing insecticide resistance….Evidence like that for insecticide resistance confirms the Darwinian selection mechanism for small-scale changes, but hardly warrants the grand extrapolation that Darwinists want. It is a huge leap going from insects developing insecticide resistance via the Darwinian mechanism of natural selection and random variation to the very emergence of insects in the first place by that same mechanism. – William A. Dembski • The rain water enlivens all living beings of the earth both movable (insects, animals, humans, etc.) and immovable (plants, trees, etc.), and then returns to the ocean it value multiplied a million fold. – Chanakya • The Reproductions of the living Ens From sires to sons, unknown to sex, commence… Unknown to sex the pregnant oyster swells, And coral-insects build their radiate shells… Birth after birth the line unchanging runs, And fathers live transmitted in their sons; Each passing year beholds the unvarying kinds, The same their manners, and the same their minds. – Erasmus Darwin • The rhythms of nature – the sounds of wind and water, the sounds of birds and insects – must inevitably find their analogues in music. – George Crumb • The souls you have got cast upon the screen of publicity appear like the horrid and writhing creatures enlarged from the insect world, and revealed to us by the cinematograph. – James Larkin • The spider is an animal who eats mosquitoes. That’s why I love the spider – it is the only way we have to deal with these insects. – Louise Bourgeois • The transformation scene, where man is becoming insect and insect has become at least man and beyond that – a flying, godlike, shimmering, diaphanous, beautiful creature. – Michael O’Donoghue • There are men from whom nature or some peculiar destiny has removed the cover beneath which we hide our own madness. They are likethin-skinned insects whose visible play of muscles seem to make them deformed, though in fact, everything soon turns to its normal shape again. – E. T. A. Hoffmann • There are, as is known, insects that die in the moment of fertilization. So it is with all joy: life’s highest, most splendid moment of enjoyment is accompanied by death. – Soren Kierkegaard • There’s no denying that the way horror has been packaged in the past has done it no favours. Lurid black covers adorned with skulls, corpses crawling with insects and scantily clad maidens being chewed into by vampires — all good clean fun, but it doesn’t do much to give the genre an air of respectability or seriousness to the casual browser. – Tim Lebbon • There’s this shop in New York I go to; it has bones and fossils and insects that are like works of art. I have a few on my wall. – Eva Green • These sprays, dusts, and aerosols are now applied almost universally to farms, gardens, forests, and homes-nonselective chemicals that have the power to kill every insect, the ‘good’ and the ‘bad,’ to still the song of birds and the leaping of fish in the streams, to coat the leaves with a deadly film, and to linger on in soil-all this though the intended target may be only a few weeds or insects. Can anyone believe it is possible to lay down such a barrage of poisons on the surface of the earth without making it unfit for all life? They should not be called ‘insecticides,’ but ‘biocides.’ – Rachel Carson • Things without defense: insects, kittens, small boys. – Paul Fussell • Thousands of men breathe, move, and live; pass off the stage of life and are heard of no more. Why? They did not a particle of good in the world; and none were blest by them, none could point to them as the instrument of their redemption; not a line they wrote, not a word they spoke, could be recalled, and so they perished–their light went out in darkness, and they were not remembered more than the insects of yesterday. Will you thus live and die, O man immortal? Live for something. – Thomas Chalmers • Today I am sure no one needs to be told that the more birds a yard can support, the fewer insects there will be to trouble the gardener the following year. – Thalassa Cruso • Too many creatures both insects and humans estimate their own value by the amount of minor irritation they are able to cause to greater personalities than themselves. – Don Marquis • Tourists moved over the piazza like drugged insects on a painted plate. – Shana Alexander • Travel is said to be broadening because it makes us realize that our way of doing things is not the only one, that people in other cultures live differently and get by just fine. Insects do that, too, only better. – Marlene Zuk • TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect (“Glossina morsitans”) whose bite is commonly regarded as nature’s most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist (“Mendax interminabilis”). – Ambrose Bierce • Unwittingly, every event and every microorganism – insect, fish, bird, animal, etc. – is playing a role that maintains a perfect balance to our ecosystem, which also includes our atmosphere. Have you ever considered that we, you and I, are also apart of that? – Bryan Kest • Vast chain of being! which from God began, Natures ethereal, human, angel, man, Beast, bird, fish, insect, what no eye can see, No glass can reach, from infinite to Thee, From Thee to nothing. – Alexander Pope • Very little makes me feel vulnerable these days. I hit my absolute apex of vulnerability when I returned to my home state of Louisiana, during the Gulf oil spill disaster, and witnessed mass devastation to every demonstration of life surrounding me – from grass, trees, bayous, insects, to animals and people – we all felt demolished. – Ian Somerhalder • war with poison and chemicals was not so rare in the ancient world … An astounding panoply of toxic substances, venomous creatures, poison plants, animals and insects, deleterious environments, virulent pathogens, infectious agents, noxious gases, and combustible chemicals were marshalled to defeat foes – and panoply is an apt term here, because it is the ancient Greek word for ‘all weapons. – Adrienne Mayor • We blame Walt Disney for goldenrod’s undeserved bad name. Despite Sneezy’s pronouncement, plants such as goldenrod with heavy, insect-carried pollen rarely cause allergic reaction. – Janet Macunovich • We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe, nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws, but the smallest insect, we wish to be created at once by special act. – Charles Darwin • We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics. – Bill Vaughan • We know of no behavior in ants or any other social insects that can be construed as play. – Bert Holldobler • We ought never to sport with pain and distress in any of our amusements, or treat even the meanest insect with wanton cruelty. – Hugh Blair • We urgently need an end to these false assurances, to the sugar coating of unpalatable facts. It is the public that is being asked to assume the risks that the insect controllers calculate. The public must decide whether it wishes to continue on the present road, and it can do so only when in full possession of the facts. – Rachel Carson • We’ve got a good inspection system in Arizona managing products that come from other parts of the county that could carry insects that could become problematic. – Carl E. Olson • What a difference that extra 120 ppm has made for plants, and for animals and humans that depend on them. The more carbon dioxide there is in the atmosphere, the more it is absorbed by plants of every description – – and the faster and better they grow, even under adverse conditions like limited water, extremely hot air temperatures, or infestations of insects, weeds and other pests. As trees, grasses, algae and crops grow more rapidly and become healthier and more robust, animals and humans enjoy better nutrition on a planet that is greener and greener. – Paul Driessen • What is more obscene: the idea that one can apologize for the hubris and deceit that is Obama and his health care, or the actual need some have for an apology from an entity so evil that he would toy with the lives of millions as though they were insects and he God? This is hard to tell. – Ilana Mercer • What would be left of our tragedies if an insect were to present us his? – Emile M. Cioran • When harvests are exuberant, joy and health follow in their train; but let delusive prosperity draw industry from agriculture; let an insiduous disease attack one of its important products; let an insect, or a parasite, fasten on a single esculent, and mark the effect upon commerce and human life. Upon such an event all business is deranged. – Elias Hasket Derby • When I see nature, when I look into the sky, the dawn, the sun, the colors of insects, snow crystals, the night stars, I don’t feel a need for God. Perhaps when I can no longer look and wonder, when I believe in nothing – then, perhaps, I might need something else. But I don’t know what. – Michelangelo Antonioni • When the moon shall have faded out from the sky, and the sun shall shine at noonday a dull cherry red, and the seas shall be frozen over, and the icecap shall have crept downward to the equator from either pole . . . when all the cities shall have long been dead and crumbled into dust, and all life shall be on the last verge of extinction on this globe; then, on a bit of lichen, growing on the bald rocks beside the eternal snows of Panama, shall be seated a tiny insect, preening its antennae in the glow of the worn-out sun, the sole survivor of animal life on this our earth – a melancholy bug. – William Jacob Holland • When we mistake what we can know for all there is to know, a healthy appreciation of one’s ignorance in the face of a mystery like soil fertility gives way to the hubris that we can treat nature as a machine. Once that leap has been made, one input follows another, so that when the synthetic nitrogen fed to plants makes them more attractive to insects and vulnerable to disease, as we have discovered, the farmer turns to chemical pesticides to fix his broken machine. – Michael Pollan • When we seed millions of acres of land with these plants, what happens to foraging birds, to insects, to microbes, to the other animals, when they come in contact and digest plants that are producing materials ranging from plastics to vaccines to pharmaceutical products? – Jeremy Rifkin • When we usually think of fears, in comics or in films, it’s most often fears on a relatively superficial level: fear of murderous insects, of ghosts, of zombies, or even fear of dying. – Boaz Lavie • While an ant was wandering under the shade of the tree of Phaeton, a drop of amber enveloped the tiny insect; thus she, who in life was disregarded, became precious by death. – Martial • Who has the right to decide that the supreme value is a world without insects even though it would be a sterile world ungraced by the curving wing of a bird in flight. The decision is that of the authoritarian temporarily entrusted with power. – Rachel Carson • Winding her arms close around his neck, she closed her eyes. To be embraced, safe in a man’s arms when she had never expected it to happen again, this would be enough.Time sheltered their embrace, enfolding them within a summer scented capsule that felt endless and theirs alone. The fragrance of grass and sunlight and nearby water sweetened each breath. Theirs was the music of birds ans the lazy buzz of insects and the beating of two hearts. Yes, she thought, she didn’t need more. This would be enough. – Maggie Osborne • Words can enhance experience, but they can also take so much away. We see an insect and at once we abstract certain characteristics and classify it – a fly. And in that very cognitive exercise, part of the wonder is gone. Once we have labeled the things around us we do not bother to look at them so carefully. Words are part of our rational selves, and to abandon them for a while is to give freer reign to our intuitive selves. – Jane Goodall • You cannot speak of ocean to a well-frog, the creature of a narrower sphere. You cannot speak of ice to a summer insect, the creature of a season. – Zhuangzi • You must walk sometimes perfectly free, not prying or inquisitive, not bent on seeing things. Throw away a whole day for a single expansion, a single inspiration of air. You must walk so gently as to hear the finest sounds, the faculties being in repose. Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. – Henry David Thoreau • You shall find books and sermons everywhere, in the land and in the sea, in the earth and in the skies, and you shall learn from every living beast, and bird, and fish, and insect, and from every useful or useless plant that springs from the ground. – Charles Spurgeon • You were just a boy on a bed in a room, like a kaleidoscope is a tube full of bits of broken glass. But the way I saw you was pieces refracting the light, shifting into an infinite universe of flowers and rainbows and insects and planets, magical dividing cells, pictures no one else knew. – Francesca Lia Block

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equitiesstocks · 5 years ago

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Insects Quotes

Official Website: Insects Quotes

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lawrence9gold · 6 years ago

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The Anatomy of Socially Entrenched Cruelty | Three Pressure Points for Change

The Anatomy of Socially Entrenched Cruelty ~ Three Pressure Points for Change ~ . . .

Lawrence Gold

You may have noticed that these times are a bit crazy and that the craziness is a bit "in our faces". I'll be talking about the underpinnings of that craziness, which is cruelty (a major disease of humanity), and the work needed to curb and transform it. This is an advisory piece of writing, not an academic or merely theoretical one.

youtube

In the current administration of the United States government, in the behavior of large segments of the citizenry, and in world events at large, we have seen and have been seeing systemic cruelty in an extraordinarily visible way. It's a disease of humanity in which the perpetrators somehow believe they are right (or excused, or above the law), that they have the right and in which everyone else are hapless victims ("tough luck").

Recognizing what we are dealing with is the first step to handling it.

We have been seeing:

racism

sexism

"religious" warfare

sexual abuse by members of the clergy and people in "power positions"

indiscriminate public attacks by "shooters"

corporate greed, pay inequities, and environmental abuse

selling out by politicians of their Constitutional duty to their constituents (electorate) in service to Big Money, political agendas, and political ambition

and equally

self-righteous emotional abusiveness by those who supposedly stand for correction of these abuse patterns, but who indiscriminately make racist and sexist assumptions about their allies and sympathizers (you know who you are).

EFFORTS at SOCIAL JUSTICE

People who want social justice typically target an issue or two (e.g., racism and sexism) and agitate for change. Two things about that:

By concentrating on one or two issues, they miss the larger picture, the problem of which their favorite issues are symptoms, a problem that isn't political, but personal and cultural. They seek to put out "fires" instead of addressing the mindset that starts fires. There are just too many fires to efficiently go after them, individually.

Agitation (power over others), in itself, is insufficient. People also need power over themselves (intelligent discipline). I say more about that.

Passionate idealism is insufficient. It's one thing to protest, blame, or "educate" and another thing to be effective. Changes of behavior from legislation or policy are insufficient; what 's needed is a shift of mindset, which controls behavior from within.

To be effective, we need two things:

understanding (which is more than knowing facts or history, but an intuitive understanding of relationships)

focused and coordinated action at least equal in force to the forces keeping problems in place

This piece talks about the causes of cruelty in its many forms, exposes "pressure points" for change, and talks about how to apply pressure to those pressure points.

Some of it is not what you think.

SIGNS of the CRUEL MINDSET of the TIMES

Cruelty shows up in the behavior of the U.S. government:

as the current implementation of immigration policy that separates helpless children from their parents

as efforts to defund Planned Parenthood and repeal the Affordable Care Act

as tax cuts for the super wealthy

as voter betrayal by politicians yielding to "pressure" by lobbyists (revolving door or otherwise), conflicts of interest, as by the gun lobby

as corruption of the legislative process by "riders" -- sections of law that have nothing to do with a particular piece of legislation -- introduced to the bill for that legislation to get them passed, when they wouldn't pass on their own

as police repression of lawful protest demonstrations (as in Occupy Wall Street)

as "racial profiling" that leads to unwarranted and unpunished police attacks, and disproportionate jailings, of innocent members of minority groups

as instances of injustice-by-omission: namely, pardoning individuals convicted of crimes who don't deserve to be pardoned, as light sentences for those who deserve heavier consequences, and as failure to prosecute (as in Wall Street bankers)

as military adventurism

as pandering to the gun lobby

as violations-with-impunity of laws and ethical standards by legislators

as lies and distortions in political campaigns

as voter suppression and gerrymandering

as betrayal of the public political will by political parties with their own agenda

You are no doubt aware of other patterns of cruelty and injustice from your personal life and the news media.

These are not separate issues, but different forms of the same underlying problem.

Patriarchy often gets the blame for cruelty in the forms of racism and sexism -- and deservedly so because its entrenched form is so often insensitive, wrong-headed, hard-headed, and out of balance -- but women also practice sexism and racism by making blanket assumptions about "white" males -- and for similar reasons: It's easier than considering individuals, individually and personally.

It's also lazy and sloppy thinking. The abuses of patriarchy are a symptom, not a first-cause.

From these words, I expect you are now feeling the mood of cruelty -- perhaps labelled, to yourself, as "righteous anger". Good. Now it's time to expose it.

The Anatomy Of Cruelty

Understanding the anatomy of cruelty, rather than just reacting to it by striking at its symptoms, is the basis of any effective strategy to address it -- and change it. Understanding reveals pressure points for change.

So now, I'm going to discuss the structure or anatomy of cruelty, its origins and "pressure points".

Understanding the Anatomy of Cruelty

Cruelty involves both feeling and action. Here are the stages by which cruelty develops, which are the pressure points for addressing it:

inspiration / a good idea: taking initiative

being persistently thwarted: sabotage by others and "the system" (desensitization: suppression or denial of feeling)

resentful surrender, resignation and conformity to "the system": seeking the power of the powerful

abuse of others

You can see that a developmental sequence is involved of "going over to The Dark Side". This sequence generates an internal pressure that fuels cruelty. People of insufficient integrity go along with that pressure, rationalizing that it's a sign that they're doing the right thing, excusing their actions as if morality (personal integrity) were a popularity contest.

Any or all of these pressure points can be dealt with creatively to undermine the excuses for cruelty and cruel behavior patterns.

I'll go over the essentials.

THE ELEMENTS OF CRUELTY

DESENSITIZATION

"Desensitization" means the inability or unwillingness to feel. "Feel" doesn't mean just emotional feeling or compassion, but also the inability to perceive the bodily signals that where we are headed is abhorrent and also, the bodily signals of a direction that would feel wholesome. Desensitization is a kind of fear-based "dumbing down" to avoid changing ones actions -- although the fear may be buried beneath layers of anger and rationalization. Words for this condition are, "apathy" and "resignation".

Desensitization goes with "fixed-mindedness" -- unwillingness or inability to consider to a meaningful depth anything other than what we already know and consider to be legitimate or true[ . A word for this condition is, "arrogance".

Desensitization may be caused

by childhood abuse (physical or emotional)

by childhood indoctrination and example by parents and peers

by domestic violence

by abusive training in a religious context

by military training

by corporate culture

by criminal influences

by professional standards, such as medical training in which cruelty is found and commonly accepted (consider medical procedures, pharmaceuticals with adverse side-effects (and high prices), and the 30-hour, no-sleep shifts imposed upon interns entering the medical profession)

by a hard life

by being "spoiled" -- lack of constructive discipine and the low self-esteem that results from failure to accomplish anything worthwhile (by ones own standards)

by sheer "cussedness" and refusing the discipline of too-permissive parents

by an ugly entertainment mass media featuring violence and exploitative sexuality

These are all situations that retard maturation and development and that foster desensitization.

Arrested Development Cruelty is a sign of immaturity or distorted development. We see casual cruelty by children who have yet to mature past selfishness -- mean speech, taking or breaking the toys of others, misbehavior. Even children with some sensitivity may be corrupted by abusive fathers and mean mothers through unwarranted invalidation, ridicule, shaming, physical violence -- and more abuse for reacting emotionally to being abused. Childhood emotional neglect also leads to failure to mature, emotionally.

A child in that condition may feel anger at the parents (or other bullies) but not dare to express it where it belongs, instead directing pent-up anger at innocent others whom they do not fear. Schoolyard and social media bullying are examples.

Adults may feel a similar pent-up anger at bullying bosses, pay inequities, and social injustice but have no safe outlet, instead being told or required, in effect, to "Suck it up!" As people get resigned to things being that way, they may become hardened and resentful -- which they cease to notice, even as it distorts their character into a form many mistake for human nature -- that of the racist, sexist, selfish, unresponsive or incompetent individual (e.g, bureaucrats).

Pent-up anger becomes part of their identity just below the surface, rather than a temporary mood. It shows up as hard-heartedness and cruelty, power games, sexual exploitation or betrayal, and hard drinking (a significant problem, in Congress).

We become conditioned not to feel or to want to feel, with anger just below the surface just waiting to be misdirected at those whom we do not fear, when what we need to do is intelligently direct our will at those who deserve our anger (which means, overcome the intimidation we felt at the times when we were being abused). Easier said than done, I know -- but consider the alternative. There's help; see later in this piece.

Because religious training is such a loaded subject, I'll say more about it.

Religious Training

The essential selling point of organized religion is to insulate people against the trials of life -- in other words, to get people to desensitize themselves with the promises of faith and religious rationalizations (such as, "God works in mysterious ways").

In Christianity, a primary symbol is the Cross. The cross was an instrument of torture, death and public intimidation.

The Cross is considered sacred and so people are desensitized to the cruelty it symbolizes; they turn the cruelty of it into the evidence of holiness, "holy suffering", referred to as "The Passion of Christ".

They don't have a realistic understanding of The Cross; they make an idealistic symbol of it -- righteously, in the official way. Some make an esoteric symbol of it; some even love it. (There is a gospel song called, "The Old Rugged Cross", which sentimentalizes it.)

Aspects of religious history may trigger self-righteous anger in someone, who then may make it part of the mood of their religious "career", become a self-righteous "religious sourpuss", and use it as justification for abusing outsiders (of other religions) or in back-biting actions and gossip against members of their own.

Religious heirarchies (i.e., priests, bishops, nuns, etc.) have often inflicted cruelties in the name of religious discipline and been abusers (or power seekers) in secret, desensitized to the effects of their actions upon others -- or perhaps secretly enjoying satisfaction in the suffering of others the cruel way some enjoy gossip.

Humanity saw much "Christian" cruelty in the Crusades, in the Inquisition, in the Nazi movement (populated by those who considered themselves Christian), and in common anti-Semitism.

I emphasize that this desensitization and cruelty exactly conflicts with the teachings, intention, and example of Jesus.

In Judaism, particularly in the Old Testament, stories abound of the cruelties inflicted upon others, whether upon the Hebrews by persecution or by punishment-by-God, or by the Hebrews upon each other or upon other peoples by war or by massacre.

Study of the Scriptures fosters a kind of casualness about those events through mental familiarity because those who study the texts (particularly those who have been desensitized) cannot replicate (imagine) within themselves the actual suffering caused by the actions recounted. Recounting of those events tends to make them matters more of intellect, abstract idealism, of faith and or of reason, than of feeling–experience. More desensitization.

You may easily find examples in members of other religions, including Islam and even Buddhism, more a sign of these individuals' personal faults than of the religions, themselves. ("People make philosophy out of their state of adaptation." ~~ Adi Da Samraj)

The doctrine of "Manifest Destiny" that led to the conquest of the American west and the abuses and subjugation of the American Indians was justified by passages from the Bible that desensitized people to their effects on the Indians.

In more secular times, the motives of science and commerce have largely replaced the moral teaches of religion, so that moral constraints are lacking.

Science

Science places doubt upon the subjective experience (emotions and feeling-intuition) of the individual (and even to the sensibilities of animals), so that the question, "Should it be done?" is often secondary to, "Can it be done?"

For example, one form of scientific investigation (done for commercial purposes) is experimentation upon animals and vivisection ("cutting of the living"), as if their feelings were of no consequence or perhaps they have no feelings (notice your reaction in this moment).

How sensitive can a scientist (or student of science) be who engages in those practices? Instead, monetary or intellectual considerations prevail. Desensitization.

Commerce: Big Business

The secular cult of commerce places legality over morality, or ethics.

Hostile takeovers, stripping employees of their pensions, "revolving door" lobbying, despoiling our environment and outright lying to protect profitability are commonplace forms of cruelty excused by legality (or the lack of legal constraints and presence of legal "loopholes").

Even the term for making big profits is cruel: "making a killing" -- also, in business, expressions like, "killing it", "insane deal", and "steal this [fill in the blank]".

Alcohol and Drug Abuse Alcohol and drug abuse suppress or distract from feeling.

Alcohol suppresses the prefrontal lobes of the brain, which provide the discerning intelligence of humans and self-regulation of behavior. Alcohol also stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain – making acting stupid a pleasure.

Narcotics ("narcos", meaning "related to stupor or a stuporous state") suppress (actually, overwhelm) feeling by simulating (artificially mimicking) the lift produced by the body's self-generated endorphins (pleasure-chemicals of the brain ordinarily produced by successes of one or another sort). Narcotics provide a lift when life-conditions don't cause it.

Thus, we see an epidemic of alcohol and opioid abuse in American society.

Desensitization. You get the idea.

Desire for Pleasure

Everyone wants to avoid pain and feel pleasure -- though sometimes it's reversed -- perverted. Wanting to feel a less defines pain, wanting to feel more defines pleasure.

One primal pain is hunger; the urge to avoid it shows up as appetite, which shows up first as relief from hunger and then as the pleasure of eating.

However, desensitized people need more intense pleasure to feel anything. The feeling of, "enough" gets replaced by "I want more and more".

Hence, the epidemic of obesity and of sexual and other addictions, extreme sports, violent entertainment (including video games), loud music, pornography, over-consumption, social media addiction, the craving for power, economic inflation and unbridled greed.

When we have learned to suppress feeling, the closest safe feeling to pleasure is, relief. Cruelty brings a kind of temporary relief from pent-up anger through "acting out" -- indulging the anger and sending the desire for relief down the pecking order -- bringing the kind of distorted satisfaction gotten by ones original abusers. There's a word for it: "schadenfreude", which means, "taking pleasure in the suffering of others".

So, on one hand, we have desensitization and on the other hand we want pleasure. The result is the desire for excess, which leads to exploitation and, in power situations, cruelty.

CRUELTY as The Denial or thrwarting of Pleasure

Apart from abusers' desire to deny pleasure to others, the denial of pleasure shows up in "institutionalized guilt".

Guilt about pleasure is perpetuated in Christianity as the doctrine of "Original Sin", but it appears as common guilt even about healthy appetites.

The denial of pleasure is a kind of penance for Original Sin. Hence, the term, "guilty pleasures". I have seen a more extreme form of penance in the practice of self-flaggelation (self-whipping of the mortal, sinful body) among Catholics in Mexico during the Easter season.

In Catholicism, the discipline of celibacy (denial of sexual pleasure) among the priesthood has led to sexual abuse -- another effect of internalized self-suppression: pressure "build-up".

Parents' disregard of children's feelings teach a child that his or her feelings don't matter. A general atmosphere of emotional volatility at home teaches a child that pleasure is dangerous. A child may hide (suppress) visible pleasure or enthusiasm to avoid becoming more of a visible target for abuse. A child may even exaggerate his or her suffering in reaction to abuse to make abusive parents feel guilty -- and later become an oppressor of others' pleasure by becoming "a downer".

The conflict between pleasure and guilt (or shame) shows up as self-oppression and the oppression of others.

And the pressure builds.

Desire for Empowerment

The desire for empowerment is another healthy impulse made unhealthy by desensitization. The desire for empowerment becomes the lust for power.

A kind of pleasure comes with empowerment -- the pleasure of doing what we want and getting what we want.

Sabotage by authority or power-figures combined with the threat of consequences, such as disapproval, or worse, leads to self-sabotage to avoid punishment, to resignation, and to pent-up frustration.

It leads to resentment toward others who are succeeding (envy) and to the cruelty of sabotaging them as one has been sabotaged, oneself.

The cruelty shows up as a hard-hearted nature and the impulse to undermine (or not cooperate with) others. The pent-up anger shows up as self-serving dishonesty and, "If I can't have it, no one else can, either" -- the logic of murder-suicides.

Cruelty to others starts with the memory of cruelty to oneself. That's how one learns (and fails to outgrow) it.

The NETWORK of Corruption and Cruelty

We have been suckered in by the sickness, stupidity and cowardice of people with power.

When cruel others abused us and we learned to submit to it for our safety, we also may have acquired a load of anger along with the tendency to regard abusiveness as an acceptable way to power (because our abusers got away with it).

When we have suppressed our anger for the abuse we have received, it comes out in cruelty to others (or, at best, as suppression of our urge to be cruel to others).

When we were sabotaged by power figures we dared not oppose, we learned to give in and then sabotage first ourselves, to avoid feeling the exultation of success (to avoid the oppression of others), and then sabotage others.

All of that occurs when we become desensitized to our feelings and, in fear of our abusers, sell out to them and cease to distinguish wholesomeness from abuse, right from wrong. We may say that "the lines are blurred"; it is we who are blurred.

In the mood of chronic anger and resentment, we may, with intelligence blurred, adopt the hard-hearted ways of our oppressors against others. This is how some people advance themselves in a power heirarchy (e.g., corporation or political organization) .

Networks of desensitized cruelty develop composed of mutually-excusing, mutually-validating, conformist individuals (e.g., think tanks, corporations, news organizations, banking consortia (such as The Fed), political movements and confederacies).

SUMMARY

I've outlined some of the forces behind desensitized cruelty. I've described many forms of cruelty, but the underpinnings are all the same:

The anatomy of cruelty, described more simply, consists of

naturally wanting to feel pleasure and avoid pain

sabotage and resignation

adopting the ways of abusers in phony self-righteousness

unhandled anger, intimidation and dishonesty perpetuating the entire mess

Cruel people get "whupped" into their cruelty by authorities, power-figures of their lives, social conditions -- and insufficient integrity to come back from the abuses and effects of abuse. They "go over to The Dark Side", which, to them feels safer than confronting the cruelty of others. The people who fail to hold them accountable are just as much at fault. They are conformists.

A Way Out?

The first thing I may have to do is to address the use of "nonviolent protest".

Non-violent protest, on the moral "high ground", must be employed strategically in concert with other tactics; otherwise, non-violent protest is a cliche of limited value when confronting cruelty, corruption, deceit and violence of one sort or another. It gets laughed at by those in power and doesn't protect protestors from police violence, as we saw at Standing Rock.

Cruel people are so desensitized and too dense to be influenced by nonviolent demonstrations, alone. Such people must be "whupped" (or forcefully and persistently opposed) to get their attention and respect by a multi-pronged, organized "coalition" (coalescence of multiple groups in coordinated action -- political, social, economic, and personal).

People resist change. They tenaciously hold on to "what they know" -- in part because their self-image is at stake and in part because they feel their lives are at stake.

That's why such people must sometimes be "whupped" back into shape by skilled and careful "counter-whuppers" at least as powerful as those who originally "whupped" them into their distorted shape.

What to Do?

People are already using many familiar tactics:

· protest demonstrations

· reporting by the news media

· political commentary

· speeches

· private communications

· on-line social media exposure

· legal action

· public confrontations

· lawsuits

We've seen the effectiveness of these tactics. It's slow going, isn't it? The ways of cruelty are well-entrenched in the power connections of the world. How are we to counter them without extraordinary means at the individual level and coordinated action at the collective level?

I'm going to present "extraordinary means", shortly.

What people generally aren't doing are these two steps.

PERPARATION by SELF-CLEAN-UP: The very first step is to uncover and disarm the ways we have, ourselves, been traumatized by cruelty. You don't want to be oppressed? Clean up the effects in you of oppression. The trauma won't go away, if you don't -- even if circumstances change. It's about more than anger; it's about how defeat and rationalized resignation change what we do and how we do it. Trauma is crippling. Cleaning it up isn't just a nicety. It's liberation, claiming your freedom. Clean-up is required for integrity and integrity is power. Clean-up is intelligent preparation, as I will explain, further.

PREPARATION of EMPOWERMENT: The next step is to make ourselves capable of confronting abusers. Confrontation and creativity take integrity. Lack of integrity shows up as shakiness, inability to confront, ineffectuality: disempowerment. You want to be effective? Remove "the stopper". Uncover and disarm the fear or anxiety that surfaces as soon as we confront abusers -- which we felt when we were originally abused. That disarming of fear is called, "empowerment". You do it on an incident-by-incident basis, not as a once-and-for-all achievement. It develops. (There is no such thing as empowerment by others. Empowerment by others is better called, "permission" or "encouragement" or "authorization.")

These steps, personal clean-up and empowerment -- untraceable and safe, for you -- are the most important steps. They open the way for recognition of opportunities, ingenuity, and the energy needed to take action. You don't hear much about personal clean-up because people generally prefer to act upon others (you know -- the ones who are at fault), rather than upon themselves -- and because they haven't experienced something that works well enough to be exciting. The very notion of, "empowerment" is already a disempowered notion tainted by mediocrity. The common idea of empowerment is something like pushing down harder on the accelerator pedal of your car. What's needed is to take your foot off the brake! and steer better -- not commonly understood or taught. We already know the result.

So, people consider changing our way of operating difficult, at best.

However, something new is available for people with initiative: rapidly effective "personal clean-up procedures". "Rapidly effective" is unusual and because it is unusual, it may seem unrealistic, untrue. Seeming unrealistic isn't the fault of the procedures, but of people stuck in a state of resignation, thinking they know "what's what".

There's no way to know but to test those procedures in yourself.

I offer two procedures, freely, for the public good. These are anti-stress, self-empowerment procedures you do for and by yourself (or with a partner or mentor). They awaken and rally imagination, intention, memory, and attention -- the four basic faculties of intelligence.

The names of these procedures are

The Gold Key Release

The Trauma Dissolution Procedure

There are others that get at deeply seated, subconscious conditioning in different ways.

It's a matter of using them. BUT -- ya gotta wanna.

Your first test of The Gold Key Release may be on the irate state (or funk) in which you may find yourself from reading this piece. Recover your composure. Get your natural empowerment and clarity of mind back. This is a wake-up call. Get started, here.

Now, some tactics that depend on preparation by these procedures for effective use:

Refuse and, if necessary, rebuke abuse (and incompetence) where you experience them, in life -- and insist upon corrections. Insist on integrity. Even insist on excellence. (Of course, you must embody it to insist upon it.) Choose your battles wisely to make best use of your time and energy.

Speak truth to power. Cruel people are authoritarians who disavow responsibility for their cruelty, or even disavow that it is cruelty. Their excuse is the examples set by their superiors and their superiors' approval of similar behavior. Call it out. IMPORTANT POINT: Speaking equally involves listening. Don't just persuade or rebuke. Listen to how what you're saying is "landing" in the listener and adjust your approach creatively; listen to the responses spoken by your listener to the point of hearing (curb your impulse to interrupt). Listen for useful "pressure points".

Confront cruelty as high up the chain of command as we can and in a coordinated, unified way, with others. A preliminary step is to undermine the authority figures of cruel individuals -- to "whup" them whose "whupping" generated more cruel persons. Do it publicly or privately. One form of such "whupping" is legal action. Another is ostracism (refusal to interact, as in boycotting). Another is public verbal confrontation. Another is humiliation: make cruel people and others in their "network of power connections" a laughing stock. There are others. Because cruel people are aligned with their cruel oppressors (or people like them), you may expect to hear much protest as we confront their authority figures. As the balance tips, some will give in.

We've seen the beginnings of a turnaround with Trump Republicans in Congress, who have begun to turn away from the agenda of low-self-esteem cruelty as Trump's "feet of clay" have become obvious and as he gets closer to the "fire" of indictment or impeachment -- and as they have started seeing their peers indicted or resigning.

Remember that these are people who have abandoned their feeling-integrity for the safety of mutual approval and the (expected) approval of their superiors and enablers (e.g., lobbyists and political party figures).

These are but starting points for the correction.

Know what you're dealing with. Go beyond remembering how bad things have been and using those memories to stir yourself (and others) up, as if your responsibility ends, there. Use your imagination to apply pressure to pressure points. Clean yourself up and prepare yourself. Those are the most important steps to defeating and redirecting cruelty in a wholesome direction.

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#The Anatomy of Socially Entrenched Cruelty | Three Pressure Points for Change

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